Today's Superbowl pick in the Uninformed NFL Picks focuses heavily on fandom. That's because I totally judge people by their football allegiances. Not if they don't enjoy football, of course. This only applies to people who claim to watch and follow a team--and mostly only guys at that. Sure, I judge some girls/women who pick their favorite team by relative quarterback attractiveness, but not too harshly because a.) I understand; and b.) I'm not sure that you really count as a fan if that's your major point of interest in the game. (And kudos to Tom Brady, who somehow managed to raise his stock with women by dumping his baby mama--who had recently given birth--for Gisele Bundchen. That's some upper-level attractiveness ju-jitsu there. I don't know how many guys could get away with it.)
Anyway, I'm going to generalize wildly here, but in my judgment, there are three teams where if the guy is a fan, it completely lowers his stock with me. Though I should stress that this is less of an issue for someone legitimately from the team's home city. But then again, these are the teams most likely to have bunches of fans who have never even flown over their region. And since I've never lived anwhere near any of them, 90% of their fans that I meet are not homegrown fans. Anyway, they are:
1.) The Dallas Cowboys. Totally cliche, not to mention a ridiculously overrated team. A guy who likes the Cowboys is unquestionably more concerned with image and flash then substance. And if he says it has nothing to do with cheerleaders, that's because his pants are on fire. Not particularly imaginative either, as when it came to picking a favorite football team, he went with the obvious choice. Guys whose favorite football team is the Cowboys and yet also choose the Yankees as their favorite baseball team should have been drowned at birth.
2.) The Pittsburgh Steelers. I don't want to spend too much time repeating what I wrote in the Uninformed Superbowl Pick, but Steelers guys are like the weird mirror-image twin of the Cowboys guy. They would never admit that the Steelers are just as much about image as the Cowboys, only their image is about faux blue-collar toughness. Guys who aren't from Pittsburgh but are Steelers fans anyway are inherently untrustworthy and probably blow a kiss to their Ben Roethlisberger fathead every night.
3.) The New England Patriots. One of the few situations where the legit hometown fans bug me almost as much as the bandwagon fans. I will admit that ESPN's Bill Simmons is partly responsible for this. The Cowboys and Steelers may be the classic bandwagon teams, but the Patriots are the new black when it comes to trying to glom on to a team's success. The Boston/New England area has had insane sports success in the last few years, and still those greedy bastards will bitch and moan about every little setback their teams have. I can't wait until the sports gods curse them with decades of last place finishes as payback for their current success.
So there we go. My 3 least favorite fanbases. Though I could continue, of course. (The Philadelphia Eagles were only narrowly edged out. And if the list was a bit longer, I'd probably also have to touch on the Washington K Street Lawyers.) Any additions? Objections?
Today, in addition to the Daily Fluff (it's Superbowl-related, check it out), we have yet another update to our Issues with American Idol (will the torture of auditions never end?). Also, we've updated the Uninformed NFL Picks with our Superbowl choice. (Hint: it's not the team that evokes the unholy spawn of industrial sludge and a urinal cake.)
And, if you're catching up on the week, there's always our previous updates to the Issues with American Idol (scroll down), the update to the Issues with Top Chef, and the latest Second Opinion. Have a great day!
I almost mentioned this in the last update to Our Issues with Top Chef, but I think it applies beyond food--though food is definitely the easiest example. It's the authenticity thing. To my disappointment, one of my favorite contestants on Top Chef went home last night, and while his dish was being judged, one of the judges (a Brit judging Miami cuisine by the way, which I'll gloss over here, but which is irritating in its own right) commented that another version of the dish was, "more authentic." This wasn't a contest to make a more authentic meal, however. It was supposed to be about tasting better. So the authenticity issue really annoyed me.
In most hobbies/areas of interest there is some version of this authenticity issue. In music, it's often more about who has "sold out" their sound or style. But the essence of the debate remains the same. In one corner, there is the view that authenticity imparts a special quality to something and is desirable for its own sake, and in the other corner, there's the view that it doesn't matter at all how "authentic" something may be as long as it's enjoyable.
Personally, the authenticity fetishists make me a little crazy. I can understand the virtue of perserving authenticity, but it shouldn't be elevated over enjoyability. If I told you that I had two plates of lasagna/punk bands/Hong Kong style action movies and that one of them was really authentic and one was really good, and that it could be that one plate/band/movie was both authentic and good or it could be that only one was authentic and the other was good, and you had to pick which one attribute you would rather have. . . well, there are definitely people who would take the promise of authenticity over the promise of enjoyment. And I just don't get that. Heck, I think the entire concept of authenticity is something of a red herring, as it's half PR and uncertain as hell. Who decides what's authentic, after all? It's not something that can really be measured, and it can be debated to death.
Bottom line: why strive for purity over quality? They're not even close to being the same thing, and the fact that something is popular but not authentic is not (in itself) a reason to dislike it. (Which opens a whole other can of worms about deriding popular taste, but that will have to wait for another day.)
Today, in addition to the Daily Fluff, we have an update to our Issues With American Idol as well as an update to our Issues with Top Chef. And if you're catching up, there's always yesterday's American Idol update (scroll down for past entries) as well as the latest Second Opinion.
If there are any women out there who find goatees sexy, will you please step forward and explain your reasoning? Now let's be specific here. I'm not saying that someone who isn't already sexy won't remain sexy despite the goatee. I'm just saying that a goatee never increases overall sex appeal. There are several reasons for this:
1.) They give a slight "unwashed slacker" vibe that brings to mind the grunge era of the '90s and a time when Ethan Hawke was considered hot. This is depressing enough to completely destroy any possible appeal of the goatee.
2.) When they're not reminding you of overly sensitive guys in flannel shirts, writing angry songs about their parents' divorce, they remind you of cheesy French guys with berets.
3.) They make your chin look like a vagina. I'm just saying.
4.) Possibly even worse than the scruffy and unkempt goatee is the carefully groomed goatee. This makes me suspect that the guy is dying for a chance to read you his poetry while making you listen to his Youssou N'Dour CDs.
I will grant that there are certain specific categories of movie star who will successfully employ this look in roles where they are either wealthy playboys or clever criminals. However, I maintain that while they may remain hot despite the goatee, no one ever becomes hotter because of a goatee.
So today (in addition to the Daily Fluff), we have an update to our Issues With American Idol. (Watch as we begin to lose all patience with the audition rounds!) And if you're catching up, don't forget about the latest Second Opinion, on measuring Daddy's love through his presents.
Actually, in honor of today's Daily Fluff, this was originally going to be about Ice Cube vs. Ice T, but unfortunately I don't know quite enough about either to give an informed opinion. I know that Ice T gives funnier interview quotes, but he's also in a Law & Order franchise, so that's a bit of a draw.
So instead, I'm going to focus on the, "breakfast with no hog," issue. I think that I've already made the case that a breakfast with no pork products is a sad,, sad thing. But that does leave the question of bacon vs. sausage in terms of which pork product is better. Me, I lean toward bacon. I'm well aware that there are plenty of interesting and delicious varieties of sausage, and that makes it pretty difficult to discount the sausage category entirely. But when it comes right down to it, I don't think anything can beat out the pure yumminess that is good bacon. It's the gateway meat. That's why there are vegetarians with a bacon exception. Plus, it gets points for texture. Honestly, I don't know how anyone could make a comparable case for sausage. People even add bacon to dessert sometimes. Beat that, Bob Evans.
Today, in addition to the Daily Fluff, we have a new Second Opinion about a woman who is measuring her father's love by his willingness to buy stocking stuffers. And if you're catching up, there's always Why You Should Be Watching Psych or the Daily Fluff Archives.
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