Uberfluff

In  today's Daily Fluff, I go on about what the annoyingness of State Department employees.  I should add that it is possible that everyone who works for the State Department is not an insufferable jerk--I haven't met them all, of course.  It's likely that the ones that aren't giant pricks don't go out and drone on endlessly about their jobs.  So I may have met plenty of nice, interesting, personable people and had no idea that they worked for the State Department.  If that's the case, then thank you Phantom Nice State Person.  I don't know how you deal with those people you work with.

If you've never lived in or around Washington, DC, you might think I'm overstating things.  After all, assholes can be found everywhere.  And I don't dispute that.  But total jerkoffs are like flowers.  You have the common ones that can be found everywhere (like dandelions).  And then you have the ones that are specific to a certain region--they need specific geographic conditions in order to thrive.  For example, the few times I've been to LA, I've noticed an excess of people who feel some strange need to refer to famous celebrities that they've never met by nicknames.  So you say something like, "I understand Charlton Heston was in that."  And they say, "Oh, yeah, Chuck.  He was great."  Like that jackass every got closer to Charlton Heston than eating in the same restaurant once.

Well, around here, we get people who do something similar, only it's with access to politicians, levels of security clearance, and insider knowledge of political machinations.  So, as annoying as it is to hear some minor league producer go on about "Chuck" Heston, it's ten times as annoying to have someone try to lord it over you that they were just at a lunch with Chuck Schumer.  (If you said, "Who?" at the mention of Schumer, then you perfectly understand how ridiculous it all is.  If you knew who he was, then you probably know someone like this.  If you thought, "Schumer's old news.  I understand Pelosi is the one pulling the strings right now," then you're probably the asshole I was just speaking of.  Sorry, but people do an inward eyeroll when you speak and are secretly hoping that you lose your job and end up selling insurance in Duluth.) 

Ok, so I have a bit of a fascination with GI Joe.  (Which explains why today's Daily Fluff is about Scarlett and Lady Jay's romantic options.)  To explain: I used to watch it in the morning while getting ready for school, because (as morning cartoons went) is was definitely above average.  Right up to the introduction of Serpentor, it had some interesting and creative plotlines and was generally good fun.  Sure, it had its silly points--no one ever gets hurt, they just parachute out of their planes; no one was ever allowed to change their uniform identity to fit in with weather or geography, so that poor Snowjob is running around New York in the summer still in his Artic jacket--but still a good show.

So when news came down that they were making a live action movie, I didn't immediately decide that it would be a lazy, p.c., formulaic piece of crap.  And granted, it hasn't come out yet, but there have been omminous signs.  Apparently the initial plan to make the Joes part of an international counterterrorist group working out of Brussels (Brussels??!!!!!) has been shelved in response to a, "strongly negative reaction."  Interesting, because my own strongly negative reaction was something along the lines of, "that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard."  What part of, "a real American hero," suggests, "Belgian-based ops team?"

And, of course, there's the questions of casting and which Joes are going to be included in the movie.  The presence of Stormshadow, General Hawk, Snake Eyes, Duke, and Destro are all positive.  On the other hand, everything is thrown into question by the fact that Marlon Wayons has one of the major roles (as Ripcord).  This isn't a problem because Ripcord was white in the cartoon--who cares about that?  I'm not even all that worked up because Ripcord is being given a major role--he wasn't ever one of my favorites, but I suppose the whole point of having so many Joes is so that you different people can have different favorites.  It's a problem because Marlon Wayons has yet to be in an even halfway decent movie.  The fact that someone thought that he could convincingly portray a badass special ops guy points to a tragic flaw in the thinking behind this movie.  As do the slick black leather/vinyl/whatever fetish-wear that seems to be the new GI Joe uniform.  They look like mutant vampire hunters.

I'm trying to hold out hope that it won't totally suck, but there are limits to even my optimism.  So now I know that there's a good chance that the whole thing is going to be more over-produced, under-written, timid Hollywood bombast.  (How can it be timid and over-the-top at the same time?  Have you ever seen anything by Michael Bay?)  And knowing is half the battle.

Hello.  This morning, in addition to the Daily Fluff, we have a new article about Why You Should Be Watching Psych.  And if you're catching up on the week, don't forget to check out the latest Second Opinion and the updates to our Issues with American Idol and Issues with Top Chef.

Some affirmation in the form of Oscar nominations for Snickers and his favorite movies of 2008.  It appears that The Curious Case of Benjamin Button got 13 Oscar nominations--including one for Brad Pitt as Best Actor.  Also receiving recognition are Slumdog Millionaire and The Wrestler (other favorites from Snickers' list).

As expected, Heath Ledger got the Supporting Actor nomination for The Dark Knight, and I was happy to see that Robert Downey, Jr. got a Supporting Actor nod for Tropic Thunder.  This actually raises a difficult question for me--who deserves the Oscar more--Ledger or Downey?  This is a different question from who's going to win it.  Under the circumstances, I'd be shocked if Ledger didn't.  And I certainly think he made the movie and redefined the role of the Joker.  On the other hand, I think comedies don't get the recognition that they deserve, and arguably Robert Downey Jr. transformed his role in Tropic Thunder from an ordinary comic role to something special.  And he makes you forget that he's not black.  And not Australian.  In a sense, I think that Robert Downey Jr. had the harder job, as in the hands of a lesser actor, his character could have been a disaster, whereas in the hands of a lesser actor, the Joker would just have been moderately less frightening.  So I suppose I think that Downey earned it a bit more, but I can't really complain if Ledger gets the win.

Good morning.  Today, in addition to the Daily Fluff, we have an update to our Issues with American Idol as well as an update to our Issues with Top Chef.  And if you're looking to kill more time, you can always catch up with the Daily Fluff Archive or the Fluff Five Archive.

I have to run out for a bit, but will be back to do some more posting this afternoon.

In the update to our Issues with American Idol, there is a mention of my problems with judges laughing at the bad contestants.  It has been observed that my feelings on this may just be a sign that I'm going soft in my old age.  After all, these people have seen the show, they know what happens, and they're delusional enough (sometimes aggressively so) to think that they're going to win.  I can see this point, and I don't take issue with it 99.9% of the time.

So, to clarify, I don't really have a problem with mocking or insulting the aggressively delusional.  Generally, these things don't start out confrontational--they only become so after the contestant gets belligerent.  And I don't have a problem with telling terrible singers that they don't really have a future in pop music.  (If only someone had shared that thought with Pink.)  It certainly can be a kindness to give someone a little truth now and then.  (And there's nothing funnier than seeing that same terrible singer do a post-audition interview about how no one can see her talent but she's going to prove them all wrong.  Honey, you sound like a cat getting run over by a garbage truck.  You're not an overlooked gem.)

Nah, what I'm thinking of here are the ordinarily bad--who have obviously been passed through to the judges room in the hopes that they would do something extraordinarily awful and entertaining.  But instead they just suck, then stand there with a wavering smile while Simon breaks it to them that they suck at singing.  And these are the people that I don't think should be laughed at--the ones that haven't done anything (attitude-wise) to earn any mockery.  I can't put my finger on why, but somehow it feels so much more insulting to laugh in someone's face than to tell that they're a bad singer.

And on a separate note, good Lord, will the audition rounds never be over?  I wonder how many more seasons this show has in it anyway?  I would say that it jumped the shark years ago (when Taylor Hicks won, to be precise), but it's not the Fox way to let shows die a dignified death.  I'm guessing the over/under for remaining seasons of American Idol is about 5.  Though I'm inclined to take the over.

Hi there.  Sorry to be so late today.  Alas, ordinary life intervened.  Anyway, today, in addition to the Daily Fluff, we have an update to our Issues with American Idol.  And if you're catching up, there's always the latest Second Opinion.

Despite the bitter, wince-inducing cold outside, I've been on a bit of an ice cream kick lately.  These phases, of course, always start with over-the-top sundaes, and then (as I get lazier) devolve into eating Ben & Jerry's right out of the container.  Among the easily-available supermarket brands, Ben & Jerry's tends to win out pretty easily despite the cutesey flavor names and the holier-than-thou vibe.  (Though I confess that I don't eat the Phish Food flavor out of principle, since I'm still bearing a considerable grudge against certain Phish fans whom I knew in college.  May they spend their days in hell, listening to nothing but speed metal.)  I know that Haagen Dazs actually has a new premium line that's supposed to be very good, but Ben & Jerry's is generally on sale and Haagen Dazs almost never is, so that explains why I haven't really ventured into the fancy-shmancy new stuff from them.  I also know that someone is going to point out that nothing can beat the ice cream that you can make at home.  That may be true, but when I want ice cream, I want it now.  Not after I remember to cook a custard, cool it to room temperature, chill it for a day, chill it for another day when I realize that I forgot to freeze the machine bowl, freeze the ice cream machine bowl insert, churn the ice cream in the machine, and then refreeze it for several hours.  I can't plan my gluttony ahead by that much.

Anyway, while I'm largely happy with my Ben and Jerry's choices, every once in a while, I get a bit of a dud.  And alas, that happened last night with the Cheesecake Brownie flavor.  I guess that I shouldn't have tried to branch out into something new, but it sounded so good.  In the end though--too much cheesecake flavor, not enough brownie.  Lately, the consistent favorite has been Cinnamon Buns--though Chubby Hubby is also great if you can find it.  (Why does no one stock this one?)  And is it just me, or is Cherry Garcia not as good as it used to be?  I feel like I'm getting fewer and fewer good cherry chunks in it.

So, what's your favorite?

Hello.  Hope everyone had a good weekend.  Today, in addition to the Daily Fluff, we have a new Second Opinion on whether you should tell your husband that your underage daughter is skanktacular.  (Obviously, this is a trick question.  There's really no way to know how good at being skanky the daughter is from a letter.  She may be no more than a mediocre slut.)

In addition, if you want to catch up from last week and also glory in my misery over the Ravens' playoff loss, there's always the Uninformed NFL Picks.

Today's Daily Fluff discusses the disturbing phenomenon of the Anne Geddes fan, but it occurs to me that some very lucky people may be unaware of Ms. Geddes' simultaneously cutesy and disturbing pictures of babies in costume.  So allow me to illustrate.  I am by no means anti-baby.  I agree that they can be cute, though I'm not sure why someone would want to hang a picture of some complete stranger's child in their house.  You don't see me putting a poster-sized print of Suri Cruise over my bed.  But it gets a little stranger when you're hanging a picture of someone else's baby posed like an animal or plant life.  For example:

And then there's possibly the most disturbing Geddes pic of all time (for me anyway):

Seriously, it's like a poster for contraception.  If they put that image on the front of a box of condoms, I'd never be able to browse the "personal care" aisle without grabbing a box, "just in case."

Why on earth would you willingly subject yourself to this?  Whenever I see them, I just want someone to run in there with a set of pajamas, dress the poor babies, and put them down for for a nap in a normal crib.  It produces a feeling much like the final seconds of the Faith No More "Epic" video where the fish is flopping around:  "Someone get in there quick and help that poor creature!"