Carcolepsy
The inability to stay awake and alert when in a car, or any other thing that moves, such as trains, planes, and busses. Often characterized by brief attacks of deep sleep. This is especially annoying when on a road trip and the carcoleptic does not provide any company or driving help.
Dana has an acute case of carcolepsy. She is asleep before we even get out of the driveway.
Despite many years of effort and analysis, I still do not understand men. And nothing makes me feel this lack of knowledge more than watching Bridezillas (or Jon & Kate Plus Eight or any number of TV dating shows). What I don't understand is why there are so many men who are absolutely willing to put up with--hell, cater to--a woman who is (and I think this is the only accurate word) a complete and total emasculating bee-atch.
Being in a normal relationship, where I'm expected to show a modicum of respect and consideration for the other person's feelings, the whole thing is very confusing to me. And I admit to being a bit jealous. Did I miss a class or something? I had asthma in high school and missed a few weeks of school. Was that when we broke into groups and learned how to get a guy to spinelessly agree with your every whim and not raise the slightest objection when you override and belittle their every wish?
The easy answer would be that the guys in question are all pathetic losers who feel like they can't do any better. And while I'll grant that is probably occasionally true, it's too universal a phenomenon to be true in every case. Is there some kind of grand cultural emasculation of men going on in our country and this is one of the symptoms of a larger problem? (Make no mistake, I do consider it a problem. Because I have to deal with these women too, and never having anyone around to tell them to shut up makes it very difficult when you run into them in everyday life. Case in point: I went to a concert this weekend with a very high B-to-nice-chick ratio. And it was very difficult to be near the stage, dance, and so on, with so many high maintenance girls demanding cattention from their sort-of dates. Not to mention that the guys they're with are always super-tense and ready to fight with almsot anyone. Not a physical fight, of course. They're more of the, "I'll sue you for that!" type, but still, it's very annoying.)
So I guess what I'm getting at is that if you're a wussy kind of guy, you really need to sack up and stop putting up with that crap. You know, for the good of society and stuff.
Hello. I'm feeling absurdly optimistic for a Monday. Perhaps that's because today (along with the Daily Fluff) we have a brief return of uninformed NFL commentary via our Uninformed Draft Analysis. And if you haven't seen it yet, don't forget about the latest Fluff Five on annoying Freecycle ads.
Self First
Argument used to defeat the "bros before hos"/"chicks before pricks" rule of thumb. This argument may only be used if action is guaranteed. If used when the intended hook-up party could be the first runner-up in a dogfight, all companions may mercilessly tease the friend invoking "self first" via texts and phone calls--even while said hook-up is occurring. Pasting evidence of this error in judgment on social networking sites is also permitted.
Jen: We'd better go. Tricia is crying in the bathroom, and Emily just fell on the dance floor.
Carly: No way, I'm talking to some baseball player. I think he said he is a closer or something, whatever that means.
Jen: It's girls night, chicks before pricks
Carly: Self first. He wants to take me to his place and show me his trophy room.
Jen: You are dirty.
Carly: Self first, and you are just J.
We did it. We bought a Playstation 3. We didn't want to, since there aren't many games for the P3 that aren't also available for XBox. In fact, none of this would have happened if we hadn't first bought the crappy Blu Ray player.
There's something about having a high-def TV that gradually convinces you that you don't just want a Blu Ray player, you need one. And once you talk yourself through the doubt and conservatism that always accompanies media switches, there you are, in the Blu Ray aisle at Best Buy, overwhelmed by the meaningless points that they use to bulk up the "features" descriptions. (The worst is when they allude to the design or basic controls as a feature. I don't look at it as a bonus that my DVD player has a "play" button. I tend to expect that.)
Anyway, we ended up with a seemingly capable Insignia Blu Ray, but when it got home, it was the worst-behaved Blu Ray player ever. It stuttered and stalled, loaded in geological time, and clawed up the furniture. Not to mention that it couldn't even play the new James Bond movie--not, as some might claim out of an innate sense of taste, but because its firmware was out of date, and there was no practical way to update it.
I know that some people would claim that you should try to work through these things, but watching a Blu Ray disc shouldn't be a painful experience that makes you long for VHS. The problem we discovered, on taking it back to the store, is that unless you're willing to sell your first born, Blu Ray machines that solve the loading and easy updating problems are prohibitively expensive. But the PS3, which of course, can play Blu Ray and has better memory and wi-fi capability than almost anything else in that price range was the obvious solution. This is kind of a bummer, since it's a big, ungainly piece of electronics that hunkers on the entertainment center like a sad, lonely hunchback. But at least we have something that plays Blu Ray discs that isn't in danger of being hurled out the window in frustration.
Howdy! Today, in addition to the Daily Fluff, we have a new Fluff Five (featuring annoying Freecycle ads). And if you're catching up on the week, don't forget about the latest Second Opinion, the updates for Issues with Heroes and Issues with American Idol, and the Daily Fluff Archive.
Sorry for the delay--we've had some technical problems. Today, in addition to the Daily Fluff, we have an update to our Issues with American Idol. Enjoy.
Due to the sudden remergence of old school slang*, I am attempting to ressurrect some out-of -date lingo. Wednesday is now officially old-school day!
Boss^
Great, incredibly awesome, miraculous, the top, the best, bitchin'.
Bobby's new car is so boss, it has a voice activated ignition system.
^When the article "the" is included, "Boss" (now a proper noun) may only refer to one of the gretest American singer/songwriters of all time, Bruce Springsteen. (Even if he has become a run-of-the mill prototypical rockstar/ political activist. Shut up and play "Glory Days." No one cares about who you want as president or congressman.) I have seen him several times in concert and he puts on one hell of a show. ie The Boss is one his 3rd farewell tour with the E Street Band.
*Note: The term "douchebag" is the catalyst for this slang rennaisance. It was a very popular phrase during my middle school days, but fell out of fashon 'til recently. Some may argue that the word never lost it's popularity, but these people are most likely from New Jersey/Pennsylvania area, where the douchebag-to-average-guy ratio is arguably the highest in the East Coast. (If not the nation, but I'd make a strong argument for the state of Michigan, based purely on my dislike for their college sports teams).
Hiya. Today, in addition to the Daily Fluff, we have an update to our Issues with American Idol. And if you're catching up, don't forget about the latest Issues with Heroes.
e-hole
A person who sends excessive emails, mostly of the uneccessary and lame nature.
Tim: I'm gonna send you this youtube video of the dramatic squirrel. It's frigging hilarious.
Joe: Stop being such an e-hole! You've already sent me 10 emails and it isn't even lunch.
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