Uberfluff

Jackass of All Trades
 
Exceptionally bad at all things.
 
 
I cannot believe the amount of publicity Spencer Pratt has recieved. The only semi-smart thing he did was hook up with the bimbo from The Hills. He is such a jackass of all trades.

Alright, I am far from the biggest Alec Baldwin fan.  Though I  have always liked Charles Barkley.  But regardless of my feelings, this whole celebrity gaffe/offense thing has gone way too far.  I understand that we (the public) really look forward to our opportunities to criticize and look down on public figures.  And I don't really want to ruin anyone's fun here.  After all, there's so much to look down on them for.  They're generally richer, more successful, and (often) better looking than us.  If that doesn't earn you the privilege of being overanalyzed and cut-down while having to take it all with a smile and an apology, I don't know what does.  But still, there's a difference between indulging in a little celebrity-focused malice and reacting to everything like one of those grouchy, self-righteous women who takes offense at everything.  You know, like the head of NOW or something.

So Alec Baldwin made a joke about getting a Filipino mail-order bride.  So Barkley said that some women "milk" the pain of labor and delivery and that it's harder to play on a sprained ankle than have a baby.  So the hell what?  Frankly, I'm not even sure what's offensive about Baldwin's comment, and I'm Filipina.  It's a joke, people.  Sure, it implies that a country isn't doing all that well economically, but that's hardly news when it comes to the Philippines, is it?  And on the bright side, it does suggest that the women are attractive enough to be viable mail-order brides.  I can think of a few countries that are lucky that they never had to resort to mail-order brides.  For several reasons.

The Barkley thing is even more puzzling to me, since Barkley has made something of a career out of making startling or outrageous comments.  Well, that and basketball anyway.  And we all know that some women really do "milk" the whole pregnancy and delivery thing.  Sheesh, some women will "milk" the "excruciating" pain of a hangnail.  Having neither played professional basketball on a sprained ankle nor had a 36-hour labor and delivery, I can't really speak to relative pain, but I have it on good authority that both are dwarfed by the pain of a tooth in need of a root canal.  So if you're in that situation, feel free to tell both pregnant women and pro basketball players that they're total wusses.  Though, considering the uncertain tempers of both these groups, I suggest you do it quietly and from a distance of 15-20 feet.

Hello.  Today, in addition to the Daily Fluff, we have an update to our Issues with American Idol based on last night's final.  And if you're catching up, don't forget about the latest Second Opinion.

Whale Tail

1. A woman's thong or g-string riding up her back, usually while wearing low-rise jeans.
2. A group of girls in which one member is fat. 
 
 
Jen's diatribe on Sara's tackiness and utter lack of class was somewhat undermined by the prominent whale tail she was sporting.

Like just about everyone else on earth, I tend to complain that Saturday Night Live isn't as good as it used to be.  (Yes, I did mean to say "earth."  I am completely sure that goatherders in Nigeria sit around and talk about how Phil Hartman was completely underrated in what he brought to the character-based sketches.)  It's entirely possible that SNL just was never that good, and we tend to idealize it based on the funny sketches that we remember rather than the boring sketches that we have blocked from recall.  However, that would mean that there are currently funny sketches that I'm ignoring.  I wouldn't know, because every time I've watched the show in the last few years (except for some of the election stuff), I've found myself nearly catatonic from boredom.

However, the one bright and shining light in the endless parade of ho-hum have been the musical short films/videos that they've been doing.  The Chronic-(What)-cles of Narnia is probably my favorite, but they've been consistently funny and clever.  And startlingly close to the musical forms that they mock too, which only highlights how crappy a lot of popular music is too.  But that's a rant for another time.

Hello. Today, in addition to the Daily Fluff, we have a new Second Opinion about whether one's taste in comedians is a relationship deal-breaker.  And if you're catching up from yesterday, don't forget to see Why You Should Give My Boys a Chance.

So the big tabloid news at the moment seems to revolve entirely around whether or not Jon Gosselin (of Jon and Kate Plus Eight) cheated on his wife and whether the reality "stars" are getting a divorce.  And all of this conveniently right before their show's new season starts.  What a coincidence!

I confess that I haven't seen much of the show.  I've watched one or two episodes, but I fail to see the long-term entertainment value of watching a passive-agressive schlub and his nagging, OCD wife do cutesy set-up events with their children and then snipe at each other in private interviews.  (This week! The family goes to a petting zoo and then Kate emasculates Jon for forgetting the juice packs.  And don't forget to tune in next week, when they all make s'mores and Kate emasculates Jon for buying the wrong marshmallows!)

So I'm not saying that it's ok to cheat on your wife, regardless of whether or not the publicity is worth thousands of dollars.  (For the record--cheating is not ok unless it's worth millions.)  But I am saying that I understand.  That poor bastard.  He has eight kids and is married to a psycho control freak.  And his life is a TV show.  Who can walk out on eight kids?  You're stuck.  I suppose my feelings on the whole thing are best summed up through the medium of interpretive dance.  Or by this clip from The Soup:

Good morning.  Today, in addition to the Daily Fluff, we have a new article on Why You Should Give My Boys a Chance.  (The short answer--because of the video clip on the douchebag intervention and the comedy stylings of Jim Gaffigan.)

Sexsuade
 
1. To withold sex until you get your way.  2.To use sexual favors as a means to persuade someone to agree, accept or do something for you.
 
 
John: Hey I thought you hated cats!
Rich: My girlfriend sexsuaded me, and now we have 3.

Good morning!  So sorry about Thursday--unfortunately, our internet connection went down Wednesday night and we couldn't update anything until late Thursday.  So, to make up for it, not only do we have the Daily Fluff and the overdue update to our Issues with American Idol, but also a new Fluff Five (on "Gay or European?" indicators).  And if you're catching up on the week, don't forget about the latest Second Opinion too.  Thanks!