Stoked
To be pschyed, exicited, exhilarated, pumped up.
No Doubt is going on tour this summer? I am totally stoked!
Good morning. Today, in addition to the Daily Fluff, we have an update to our Issues with American Idol. And if you're catching up, don't forget about the latest Second Opinion too.
Rebooty
1. A booty call made with an ex. 2. A booty call with a (now) former one night stand
My ex from college is moving to town, I hope she's down for some rebooty action.
Ok, it's not exactly Tupac vs. Biggie. Or even Paris vs. Nicole. But it seems that Nick Cannon has decided to take on Eminem. Cannon, who is known primarily for a lame "Who's Line" rip-off for MTV and for being the only man on earth able to withstand the essay in high-maintenance that is Mariah Carey, attempted to rip on Eminem in his blog--evidently for mentioning Nick and Mariah in his latest song. Anyway, Mr. Carey was piiissssed. Though, unfortunately, he doesn't seem to get any funnier when he's angry. Some highlights:
"Not only has his music not evolved, but also homeboy is still obsessed with my wife, the same female that wouldn’t let him get to second base from 8 years ago! He even describes his desperate lameness in this bad excuse for storytelling track. That’s some real middle school shit right there! (What type of grown ass man lies about getting with a chick) Only Slim Lamey! LOL!"
*Prue's note: Yes, I am sorry to report that Nick Cannon actually LOL'd. We are not yet certain whether he ROFLMAO'd, but are concerned that it is indeed possible. I don't even want to talk about the "Slim Lamey" crack. I seriously cannot believe that this guy is paid actual money for being "funny." Anyway, back to the quotes . . .
"Then I asked myself should I go find this Bitch and just whoop his little ass? But that might have just been the Creatine and protein shakes talking! LOL. Even though most people don’t know that I’m nice in the ring and have been training in boxing and Martial Arts for years that would just be childish and silly of me to bully this dude. He clearly has been picked on all his life and I would hate to add to his deep-rooted pain"
*Prue again: I'm not sure what to say about the need to point out what a great boxer, kung fu master, and all around badass you are in your blog. I would expand, but I'm late for my ninja classes. Have I mentioned that I know 100 ways to kill a man using only a paper clip?
"You sold your little records and made a little bit of change but now you are stepping in the wrong territory. You may have been able to rape and pillage our artform like an old school Caucasian con man and nobody said anything because we respected your talent, but now you’ve made the ultimate mistake. Don’t you know that the black woman is the foundation and the strongest force in our culture? Take notes homey, Elvis would have never disrespected Aretha Franklin or Diana Ross. You were supposed to just do your little song and dance, make your little racist money and call it a day. But no, you had to dishonor the black man’s most precious counterpart."
*Another note from Prue: This is the end of a long rant about how racist Eminem is in general, and more specifically because he attacked Mariah. Frankly, I'm a little surprised that someone as racist as Eminem allegedly is (according to Cannon) gets along so well with people like 50 Cent and Dr. Dre. Eminem . . . the most incompetent racist ever. (Interestingly, most of the racism I see here seems to be aimed at Eminem here rather than coming from him. Methinks Mr. Cannon might be projecting a bit.)
"I’m taking full action on you Eminem. I don’t know why no one has stood up to your bitch ass yet. But I guess it’s going to take a corny, wack rapping, boy toy from Nickelodeon to set you straight. And trust, I am going to be relentless. Even though I got a lot of other obligations and occupations, you are my new full time job “homey”! As a matter of fact I think you going to bring my wack rhymes out of retirement! That’s right haters; you can thank Eminem because I’m going to start rapping again! LOL Just for him! And don’t forget about the jokes! We coming at you hard body!! Non-stop on your Manic-depressive-Insecure-Maclovin-Nazi- Liza Minelli haircut havin-lookin ass!! [Pause] That’s what I do all day Bitch!"
*Last comment from Prue: I confess to being a little confused here. For awhile it seemed like Cannon was threatening to beat Eminem up, which seemed a bit unwise to me. (See earlier comment about Dre and 50 Cent.) But now it seems like he's threatening him with rap. Ooooooo-kay then. So now, all I can figure is that Cannon was planning to do a rap album all along (only one guess on who is going to sing on it) and decided that the only way to get people to buy it--or even care--was some dumb trumped-up feud with Eminem. God, that's so lame it makes me want to LOL and LMAO. Though if it works, I'll be starting my own feud with Eminem shortly. Look for my new album in stores next month.
**Note: I've been told that Mr. Cannon has since apologized and claimed that his blog was hacked--evidently by the much-feared Rambling, Long-winded, and Incoherent Hacker of Doom. Right. Were he to say that he accidentally drunk-posted, I would find the whole thing a bit more credible. Anyway, whatever the excuse, it's still all very funny to me, so I'm not changing anything.
Good morning. Today, in addition to the Daily Fluff, we have a new Second Opinion about how to rationalize your laziness into a generous full employment plan for others. Enjoy.
Dejabrew
1. A distinct feeling that the drunken activity/shenanigans you are engaged in occurred before. Mostly applies to the outlandish shenanigans or outrageous bad decisions. 2. Sudden recall of things you did while drinking excessive amounts of alcohol the night before.
Holy dejabrew, now I remember why there is a goat in a sombrero in the living room. Last night was a freakshow!
Last night, I watched Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. It raised many interesting questions like: "Would anyone in real life actually be attracted to Michael Cera?"; and "I mean to the point where hot girls were actually fighting over him?"; and "Is this supposed to take place in an alternate universe where it's considered sexually attractive to be awkward and mumble a lot?"; and "Why the hell would a band want to make their concerts a big secret? Doesn't that inhibit their ticket sales a bit? Not to mention pissing off any industry folks that might have some interest in seeing them?" Not to mention, "How is it that, in a night of driving all over creation, these people never once have a problem finding a place to park a full size van in New York City?"
To say that I didn't like the movie is an understatement. This was like a 2 hour conversation with one of those guys who thinks that the bands someone listens to are somehow deeply revealing about one's personality. Oh, and with a sprinkle of the "deep" life observations of twentysomethings playing high school students. Yes, there is a moment where someone quotes obscure music lyrics and we're supposed to appreciate the sincerity and sensitivity of the moment. And yes, there is a scene where two teenagers fool around in the Electric Ladyland studios and we get to see the girl's orgasm via the meters on the soundboard. Does the mean, shallow girl get her comeuppance? Do the token gay friends make lots of outrageous statements in a desperate attempt to add cutting edge humor to this bland cover of a coming-of-age comedy? Don't make me laugh.
And here's the truly depressing part: Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist had a US box office of $31,287,493. The average movie ticket price in 2008 was about $7.18. That means that about 4,357,590 tickets were sold for this movie. The movie running time is about 90 minutes. That means that those 4 million-ish tickets represent about 6,536,385 wasted man hours in watching this movie. That's the equivalent of 272,349 wasted days--or 746 wasted years--in cumulative time that we (as a country) spent watching this thoroughly pointless movie. Don't tell me that's not a downer. So there really isn't such a thing as a victimless crime.
For all my complaining, I really do like playing Rock Band. Even if it is a crime that there aren't any Heart songs available. Seriously, if it weren't for the downloads, there'd be hardly any songs by chicks at all. It's nice that they threw Paramore and the Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs into it, but how about something a little less self-conscious and a little more rockin'?
Anyway, this is a singing gripe and here it is: "Tangled Up in Blue." The Dylan version, obviously. Does anyone really understand what the melody is supposed to be for that song? If they let you mumble tunelessly through the lyrics, I would be so annoyed, but clearly the developers believe that there is an identifiable tune to be discerned from Dylan's vocals and, moreover, they expect you to reproduce this imaginary melody perfectly. Yes, the modified musical scale they give you helps a bit, but the entire effort is undermined by the fact that you instinctually try to follow the lead vocal--which makes singing the song a big game of "Guess the Next Note." What bugs me the most is that this is the justification for making the song a super-hard vocal. But why resort to cheap tricks to make the game harder? Why not use vocal tracks that are difficult because of the range and expertise of the singer? Is it really so much to ask?
Alcoholla
1. An invite to consume alcoholic beverages. 2. An (usually misguided) attempt to hit on a person of the opposite sex done when very intoxicated.
We're going to Happy Hour after work, I'll give you an alcoholla when we head out.
Check it out, Mike's just alcoholla-d the fat girl in the tube top.
Good morning. Today, in addition to the Daily Fluff, we have our take on Bravo's new Project Runway Replacement, The Fashion Show. And if you're catching up on the week, don't forget to check out the latest Second Opinion, Hulagan's Fluff Five, our Issues with American Idol, and the Daily Fluff Archive. Have a great weekend.
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