Happy New Year everyone! Today, in addition to an alcohol-inspired Daily Fluff, we also have a new Fluff Five (where Hulagan counts down her New Year's Eve plans). And in advance of Wildcard weekend, you can also find the newest Uninformed NFL picks.
If you're catching up on the week, don't forget to check out the newest Second Opinion (about a mom who appears to want to get her daughter laid) and our article on Ill-Fated New Year's Resolutions.
Because of the holiday, we'll be taking a bit of a posting break for the next few days (though Hulagan has promised an article about the Bowl Games and I will update the site if/when she sends it--no pressure Hulagan). But we will be back on Monday with more new stuff. Have a great holiday!
Americans work too much. (And let me be clear here--by "Americans," I mean me and my friends, and by "work too much," I mean: "Have to go to work during the shortened Christmas and New Year's weeks. And also the day after Easter. And the day after the Fourth of July when it falls in the middle of the week. And when I think about it, there just aren't nearly enough national holidays in general.") Heck, my sister is a teacher, and she's generally busy with work stuff for a big part of the summer. What the hell is that about? I thought the whole point of being a teacher was the summer break. (Oh, and the shaping young minds thing and improving society thing too--but mostly the break.)
Anyway, this is something I figure we could all stand to get a lot more European about. (And by "European" I mean, "cavalier, lazy, and/or socialist"). Heck, no one really gets any work done between Christmas Eve and January 4th--well, except for retail and restaurant workers. And we're already too consumerist and materialistic as a society anyway. (Sorry restaurant workers--I still want to go out on New Year's Eve.)
So I think we should create a national holiday week (or so) between Christmas Eve and January 4th. (We need the extra room to get over the New Year's Eve hangover and "mentally prepare" to get back to work.) We can call it "The New Christmakwanakkah Solstice" or "The Festive Non-Denominational Winter Holidays" or even (in a stunning bit of un-PC realism) "The Christmas Season." I mean really. Even if you aren't Christian, are you going to refuse to take a vacation because of the name? Where's your Christmas spirit? (Note for the offended: that was a joke. Irate emails will be shared with friends and then deleted.)
Hello all. Today, we have a new Second Opinion (from a mother concerned about her daughter's sex life) as well as a new Daily Fluff.
And, if you haven't seen it yet, check out yesterday's article on Ill-Fated New Year's Resolutions.
Today in the Daily Fluff, I discuss what I think may be the single best movie montage of all time--the Rocky IV traning montage. Which means that I must post this You Tube video (almost a shot-for-shot remake of it), which is made of pure awesome.
I do feel bad, however, for excluding the make-over montage, which is another montage classic. On the other hand, I do get annoyed at the fact that the basic movie makeover basically comes down to replacing the poor girl's glasses with contacts and straightening her curly hair. Yes, curly-haired girls with poor eyesight, Hollywood hates you.
Anyway, there's nothing I can say about the montage that hasn't already been said by the immortal Trey Parker and Matt Stone:
Hope everyone had a great Christmas (or otherwise enjoyed their weekend). We're back, albeit briefly, since the New Year's holiday means another short week. Anyway, in addition to the Daily Fluff, today we have an article about Ill-Fated New Year's Resolutions. (Road to hell, good intentions, etc., etc.) And there's always the Daily Fluff Archive, or you can look at the unfortunate results of the Uninformed NFL Picks for the past weekend.
Happy Christmas everyone! Today we have the new Uninformed NFL Picks in addition to the Daily Fluff. And if you're catching up on the week, there's the latest Second Opinion (on Christmas non-gifts), the Fluff Five, the Christmas update to the Guide to Movie Formulas, and the Daily Fluff Archive.
We'll be taking a holiday break over the next few days, but will be back on Monday with new stuff. Have a great holiday!
When it comes to regrettable TV specials, there's one name the stands above the rest . . . yes, I'm talking about the infamous Star Wars Christmas Special. Many thanks to AnneArchy for this link to an article about the holiday menace from Vanity Fair, which gives us a peek into the demented minds that brought you singing stormtroopers.
Interestingly, I think it also gives you glimpses into the causes behind the travesty that would become the new trilogy and the Jar-Jar-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. It has long been my contention that the major problem with the newer movies is George Lucas' ego--in short, that he is either unwilling to listen to those who point out that some of his ideas (ahem, Greedo shooting first, midichlorians, making the main plot line of the new trilogy into an extended intergalactic C-Span) are total crap. Though there is also the possibility that no one is brave enough to tell him that in the first place. And, once it sprialled out of control when Lucas couldn't do as much work on it as planned, the resultant disaster apparently helped teach him that he needed to exercise total control over all of his projects. Anyway, consider this:
"Lucas was intent on building The Star Wars Holiday Special, as it would be called, around Wookiees—specifically, the family of Chewbacca, Han Solo’s shaggy sidekick, as they outwitted Imperial forces to come together on Life Day, the Wookiee equivalent of Christmas. Suddenly, Vilanch says, the special was in danger of looking like “one long episode of Lassie.”
“I said: ‘You’ve chosen to build a story around these characters who don’t speak. The only sound they make is like fat people having an orgasm,’” the 250-plus-pound Vilanch recalls. “In fact, I told Lucas he could just leave a tape recorder in my bedroom and I’d be happy to do all the looping and Foley work for him.”
"Lucas met these comments with a “glacial” look. “This was his vision, and he could not be moved,” Vilanch says. “And of course Star Wars was so gigantic that he had been validated a hundred times over. So he had what a director needs to have, which is this insane belief in their personal vision, and he was somehow going to make it work.”
And somehow they ended up integrating this Bea Arthur. Even the guy from Jefferson Starship (Bea Arthur and Jefferson Starship?) describes the result in terms of a drug hallucination.
So, today we have a new Second Opinion, with advice for the person who wants everyone in their life to switch to giving (and receiving) the dreaded charity non-gift. And, of course, there's a new Daily Fluff. If you're catching up from yesterday, there's also the update to the Guide to Movie Formulas, the new Fluff Five, and there's always the Daily Fluff Archive.
Today's Daily Fluff is about one of the all time bad Christmas songs, "Do They Know It's Christmas?", but there are actually many, many bad Christmas songs that deserve to be noticed as well. "Do They Know It's Christmas?" may win the coveted Bad Preachy Activist Rock Award, but there are so many other seasonal irritations, it's hard to choose an all-time worst. Though I do have some contenders:
"The Christmas Shoes"--A strong competitor for the win, with its cheesy story about some poor Dickensian urchin trying to buy shoes for his dying mother. If your mother truly only has hours to live, what are you doing shopping for shoes? How will shoes (as opposed to a blouse or dress or something) make her look, "beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight"? And, of course, it has a section sung by overly precious child singers which threatens to send the listener into a diabetic coma. And it may just be me, but it's also royally annoying to hear how self-congratulatory the narrator is about helping the kid buy the shoes when he (the kid) came up short. Jeez, I did that the other day for a woman who was short for her breakfast muffin--it doesn't exactly make you Philanthropist of the Year.
"Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree"/"Jingle Bell Rock"--These are mostly here as part of my campaign against the inappropriate use of the word "rock" as a verb. I cannot think of anything that has less call for being "rocked" than Christmas, unless it's the Children's Burn Unit at St. Vincent's Hospital.
Anything by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra--Now I realize that a lot of people really like their stuff. On the other hand, a lot of people also think that Carlos Mencia is funny, and that is clearly not true. It's over-produced, generic, and ridiculously bombastic. And yes, I realize that statement could apply equally to both Carlos Mencia and the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, which is kind of my point.
So, anyone have any least favorite Christmas carols to add to the list?
Just want to warn you in advance that we're going to have a shortened week this week, and probably won't be posting on Christmas Day or the day after. But we do have plenty of new stuff today and will continue to add things until Christmas Eve.
So today, in addition to the new Daily Fluff, there's also a new Fluff Five on disappointing Christmas gifts, as well as the Christmas movie update to our Guide to Movie Formulas. And if you're catching up from last week, you can always check out how badly I did in my Uninformed NFL Picks.
|
RSS Feed
