Uberfluff

Actually, there are far too many commercials that I hate to list them all here.  This is just a summary of the ones that are annyong me right now:

There's one that airs on Bravo a lot for a Calphalon convection oven, with a woman talking about how making lasagna for her kids, "feeds her soul."  This wouldn't be a problem except for the casting--this woman obviously has no kids and doesn't cook (much less cook lasagna).  If she even has a free-standing convection oven (which I doubt), she uses it to heat up frozen Wholefoods meals and bakery croissants.

The Quaker Oats instant cereal one with the cute little kid and the 2 grandmas separately claiming that the little guy likes their oatmeal the best.  It's adding hot water to a packet of dried cereal.  Why are you competing over who can do that better?  The little brat could probably make it himself--it's not exactly rocket surgery.

The Lexus "Best Christmas Ever" commercial with the little girl/woman remembering how jealous her friend was of her pony.  What an insufferable bitch.  Which, to be fair, fits neatly into how I classify many (but not all) Lexus owners.  It also makes me want to point out that I hate everyone who had a pony when they were little.

Hey there.  Today, in addition to the regular Daily Fluff, we have a new Uninformed Football Picks.  (Hopefully, I'll recover from last week's dismal performance--apparently saints aren't interested in helping out their namesake cities.  I wonder if St. Francis is holding a grudge about how San Francisco turned out.)  Also, if you're catching up on the week, there's our updates to the Issues with Top Chef and Heroes, as well as a new Second Opinion and an article on Play-By-Play Pain.  Have a great weekend all!

Ok, I know that politics is a tricky subject, and I don't want to offend anyone--so please bear in mind that this is art criticism and not any commentary on the election.

But, as I've been doing my Christmas shopping, I couldn't help but notice the awe-inspiring amounts of Obama-related paraphernalia for sale.  That's cool--it's always nice to see people excited about these kinds of things.  But I have one major question:

Why on earth do so many of the Obama t-shirts have these pictures that are done in Socialist Realism?  Does no one realize how weird the effect of dozens of pictures like that on a mall kiosk can be?  Obviously, this isn't the case for all of them (quite a few are just basic celebration stuff), but there are a fair number of the inspirational-looking-off-into-the-distance type that are crying out for a sturdy woman holding a hoe and a shiny-eyed factory worker in the background.

Don't get me wrong--I'm not a conspiracist and I don't think that there's any meaning to be derived from the trend.  I just thought it a little odd and maybe a little disappointing.  I mean, whatever happened to black velvet paintings?  That's the American way to celebrate our political heroes.

Good morning.  Today we have an update to our Issues with Top Chef as well as the new Daily Fluff.  And don't forget about the latest Second Opinion or the update to the Issues with Heroes.

I know that they're not particularly important or (arguably) even all that good, but I think that someone needs to document this anyway.

The Killers are not a British band.  They're from Las Vegas.  Their front man is from Henderson, Nevada.

So why the hell do they sound British?  I know I'm not the only one who has been confused by this, having discussed it with friends and family who were also suprised and slightly irritated when it was revealed that they weren't British.  I've tried listening carefully to some of the songs when they come on the radio, and while there's not an obvious accent, the lead singer definitely does something funky with his vowel sounds (especially the "o"s and the "a"s) that's causing the confusion.  (Oh, and there's also the fact that most of their songs sound like background music from Trainspotting.)

Anyway, between The Killers and Madonna, I'm a little concerned about the proliferation of pseudo-Brit accents among American musicians.  You know, if we were all paranoid about our national identity (like France), then we could probably come up with some kind of fine or prison term or such for this kind of thing.  Which, considering that it would primarily affect Madonna, is really not as bad as it sounds.

Good morning.  Today, we have a new Second Opinion (dealing with the questions a woman has about the guy she met online) as well as a new Daily Fluff.  And if you're catching up, there's the update to the Issues with Heroes and the article on Play-By-Play Pain.

So last night was the last episode of Heroes until February, and we got a hint that the next season is going to be about the government rounding up everyone with special powers and locking them away.  (It's not mentioned, but I presume that they will either be studied by scientists, inducted into some kind of secret army thing, or both.)

In and of itself, I don't have a problem with the theme.  It makes sense that if there were randomly mutated people with special powers, then the government would eventually become interested in this fact.  It just kind of bothers me in these movies/stories/tv shows that the government manages to round up and indefinitely jail huge numbers of American citizens without anyone so much as blinking an eye.   First off, it's always a really heavy-handed allusion to something political that's not a relevent match.  (E.g. I know that the government rounded up Japanese citizens in WW2, but that's been pretty univerally criticized and declared unconstitutional, and these stories always take place in the modern era.  Or they're trying to say something about modern political prisoners that doesn't necessarily track with the fact that the mutants really didn't do anything, whereas only nutbags really believe that Leonard Peltier didn't kill someone.)  In short, there's a tendecy to get really preachy about things, and I hope Heroes doesn't fall into the trap.  And I just don't buy that in the modern era, you could imprison a large number of American citizens without probable cause and not have it turn into a huge (losing) legal case.

And one other thing.  It took the government 3 X-Men movies before they equipped their troops with plastic guns that Magneto couldn't just sweep away with an eyebrow twitch.  And then they still give them metal-based ammunition.  I know that bad guys tend to be retarded (and I have issues with the bad guy allocations in those movies anyway, what with the massive loss of life among ordinary Army soldiers in the Magneto battles), but this is so profoundly stupid that it could only have come from the mind of someone envisioning a cool CGI battle.

Hello.  This morning we have an update for our Issues with Heroes.  (Last night's episode was the finale of the Villains chapter and the last episode until February.  Sigh.)  And of course, there's always the Daily Fluff.  If you're catching up, don't forget about our article on Play-By-Play Pain and the Daily Fluff Archive.

This weekend, while trying to re-enact that SNL skit for "The Sarcastic Clapping Family of Southhampton", I started to reflect on those fleeting TV moments that you enjoyed at the time, but can rarely find someone else who even knows what you're talking about when you try to describe them.  So that you're sitting there, doing the sarcastic clapping in front of a quizzical audience that never saw the skit and doesn't understand why it was so awesome. 

The ultimate example of this is Voyagers! (yes, the exclamation point is part of the title, as I guess that they weren't just time travelers, but time! travelers! instead).  I have no idea how long this show aired, though I'm guessing the answer is, "not long."  But for the short time that it was on the air, it was the most awesome TV show in my elementary school world.  Chances are that if you remember it, you already know what I'm talking about, and if you don't then no amount of description is going to help, but it was basically like Quantum Leap for kids.  It basically had a time traveller guy with a sidekick kid who travelled through time, fixing history--though I believe that they dealt mostly with famous people.  (One of my favorite episodes involved turning Babe Ruth from a pitcher into a home-run hitter.)  I also recall that the time travel device looked a lot like a pocket watch, which explains why, when we were visiting family in Hawaii and I accidentally found my cousin's birth control pills , I decided to use the case as a makeshift time travel device.  Hey, it had numbers and days on it and everything.

Anyway, if there's one thing that the internet is good for aside from porn, it's referencing obscure pop culture, so if anyone wants to get nostalgic with me, I present to you one of the less annoying Voyagers! fan pages.  (Warning, there is such a thing as Voyagers! fan fiction.  I prefer to believe that all of it has to do with exciting new historical adventures so as not to sully my childlike innocence.)

Hello.  Today, in addition to the Daily Fluff, we have an article up called Play-By-Play Pain (about the stupidity of some sportscaster commentary).  And if you're interested in sports-related pain, you can always catch up on this past weekend's Uninformed NFL Picks, where it seems that picking winners based on references to Saints was not a particularly effective strategy.