Uberfluff

If it's so all-fired important to give big bunches of money to big corporations in order to keep the recession from getting worse, than why can't we get to choose which corporations deserve the cash?  (Personally, I would prefer to keep my money in order to accomplish it, but a large check from the government would also be acceptable.)  After all, I don't really like Bank of America.  The few times that I've gone in there to cash a check, the teller treats me with a level of suspicion that should be reserved for international diamond thieves and then acts like I've asked her to perform a transaction roughly akin to splitting the atom.  And other banks are worse.  I once had a Wachovia try to charge me $10 to cash a $20 check.  Written on their bank.  And then they fingerprinted me.  Like I'm such a criminal mastermind that I'm going to create an elaborate check fraud scam that includes getting ripped-off in the name of $10.

Granted, I think that the personal account of Prue is probably one of the most critical organizations that would receive my personal bail-out funds, but I would also do my part for the part of the economy that I care about most.  I don't care if Wachovia folds--the manager at the Alexandria, Virginia branch was obviously the spawn of Leona Helmsley and Satan anyway.  But I would be very, very sad if Chipotle went out of business.  And Amazon.  And whoever makes those chocolate croissants that you can buy in the frozen section of Trader Joe's.  (Better just bail-out Trader Joe's in general, just to be safe.)  And I think I should make sure that America's wineries and licquor importers stay financially healthy too.  Not to mention the high-end restaurants and steakhouses that have been hit hard by the recession.  That's the kind of sacrifice that I would be willing to make to do my part in turning the economy around.