Uberfluff

 
 
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I cannot tell you how much I hate the current '80s fashion trend.  The neon colors, the leggings.  I mean leggings?  Again?  Have we not learned our lesson?  I can't help but wonder what is going through the mind of the people who design it.  Obviously, they must be younger than me, as no one who actually lived through silly poufy ruffles, giant shoulder pads, and neon leggings can be all that nostalgic for it.  I am constantly worried that I'm going to wander into an H&M and see the stirrup pants, bodysuit, and oversized sweater that I wore in my 5th grade class picture.


And lately, shopping the sale racks keeps turning up harem pants at 75% off.  No, I'm not surprised that they're on the clearance shelf.  Who, aside from fashion victims desperate to get another 12 seconds of exposure on E!'s C-list Celebrity Worship Show of the Day (ahem), wants to wear harem pants?  Yes, they look badass on Jasmine and other animated characters living in a fictional Middle Eastern setting.  But on an ordinary American woman who needs to pick up bread and milk on the way home from work, harem pants just say, "I have no sense of when fashion makes me look ridiculous."
 
Throwback - Prue 03/27/2009
 

For some time now, it has been the fashion to do throwback uniform days for various professional sports teams.  Yes, it's a gimmick, but I kind of like it.  It makes me nostalgic for a time when the electric bill was more of an abstract concept than anything with real-world implications.  Not to mention that it strengthens fans' ties to their favorite team, reminding them of the length of their devotion and providing everyone with a good laugh.  (Incidentally, the best throwback uniform of all time is easily the old San Diego Chargers look with the powder blue and gold.  Seriously, they ought to just go back to that one permanently.  I also have a soft spot for the old Patriots helmet with the minuteman about to hike a football--it has a great literal cheesiness to it.  It's like no one can be whimsical or fun in the modern NFL.)

Anyway, I was just thinking that we should expand the throwback day beyond sports and into regular life.  Think about the benefits of introducing a throwback day at the office.  How much would it improve office morale and teamwork if all the women had to come in wearing those skinny little bows around their necks and giant shoulderpads?  And the men could wear their hair slicked back a la Gordon Gecko and sport those too skinny/too shiny ties.  Or we could go all the way back to the '50s and dress like extras in Mad Men.  And why not totally embrace the stereotype and get wasted at lunch and grope the receptionist in the supply closet?  Stupid, no fun sexual harrassment law.

I'm still hoping to put a similar idea into effect for a party AnneArchy once suggested--where everyone has to attend as their former self.  I think it would be a lot of fun to see all of my responsible, job-having friends in their knee-high Doc Martens or marijuana leaf hats.

 
 

Credit for this actually goes to Snickers, who sent the link to the best poncho ad ever.  Admit it, you're thinking about getting a poncho right now, aren't you?

 
 

There are a few things that I was forced to leave out of the Daily Fluff rant on t-shirts.  (Due to space considerations as well as the desire not to seem totally insane.)  The thing is, I understand the appeal of the cutesy retro t-shirt--I have one myself (with the Transformers on it, if you must know).  But the point is that I could have legitimately worn a Transformers shirt back when they weren't stylishly cut and distressed.  My youngest sister, however, would only have the faintest memory of that period, and she's more of the demographic for that shirt than I am.  Why on earth would you want to appear nostalgic for a period that you can only barely remember?  I feel the same way about music.  I thought that some of the 70s and early 80s nostalgia was pushing it a bit when I was in college, as most of my peers were in the diapers and coloring books stages of life for a lot of that period.  I suppose that they could technically have memories of enjoying Soft Cell and Flock of Seagulls, but it seems to be pushing things a bit.  And yet, at every single party, someone would put on "Tainted Love."  I understand the argument that it's a good song, which can help it last forever, but is it really that good?

Oh, and one other thing--that stupid Transformers t-shirt of mine has to be hand washed and dried flat.  What the hell!!??  Since when does a t-shirt need complicated washing instructions?  That more or less sums the whole thing up for me.

 
 

My thoughts:

Good Lord, woman! Enough already!  You've lost it.  It's not going to catch on.  The days of igniting the world by wearing pointy bras and lace gloves have passed.  Mostly we want to speculate on your breaking up A-Rod's marriage.

 
 

It's been about 5 years of this getup now.  Thoughts?