Uberfluff

Last night, I watched Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist.  It raised many interesting questions like: "Would anyone in real life actually be attracted to Michael Cera?"; and "I mean to the point where hot girls were actually fighting over him?"; and "Is this supposed to take place in an alternate universe where it's considered sexually attractive to be awkward and mumble a lot?"; and "Why the hell would a band want to make their concerts a big secret? Doesn't that inhibit their ticket sales a bit? Not to mention pissing off any industry folks that might have some interest in seeing them?"  Not to mention, "How is it that, in a night of driving all over creation, these people never once have a problem finding a place to park a full size van in New York City?"

To say that I didn't like the movie is an understatement.  This was like a 2 hour conversation with one of those guys who thinks that the bands someone listens to are somehow deeply revealing about one's personality.  Oh, and with a sprinkle of the "deep" life observations of twentysomethings playing high school students.  Yes, there is a moment where someone quotes obscure music lyrics and we're supposed to appreciate the sincerity and sensitivity of the moment.  And yes, there is a scene where two teenagers fool around in the Electric Ladyland studios and we get to see the girl's orgasm via the meters on the soundboard.  Does the mean, shallow girl get her comeuppance?  Do the token gay friends make lots of outrageous statements in a desperate attempt to add cutting edge humor to this bland cover of a coming-of-age comedy?  Don't make me laugh. 

And here's the truly depressing part: Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist had a US box office of $31,287,493.  The average movie ticket price in 2008 was about $7.18.  That means that about 4,357,590 tickets were sold for this movie.  The movie running time is about 90 minutes.  That means that those 4 million-ish tickets represent about 6,536,385 wasted man hours in watching this movie.  That's the equivalent of 272,349 wasted days--or 746 wasted years--in cumulative time that we (as a country) spent watching this thoroughly pointless movie.  Don't tell me that's not a downer.  So there really isn't such a thing as a victimless crime. 

Leave a Reply