Uberfluff

With all the dramatic and important stuff happening in the world right now, it seems like an excellent time to focus on American Idol.  As longtime readers know, I have a kind of love/hate thing with AI.  In that I mock and generally despise it . . . and yet watch the damned thing religiously.  I don't know what to say.  It's a sickness.


Anyway, the big news as of late (for those who don't consider Lohan updates and Suri sightings to be "news") is that they have chosen Ellen DeGeneris to replace Paula Abdul as Idol's newest judge.  I give that decision a rousing two yawns out of five.


It's not that I have anything against Ellen.  Ever since Rosie O'Donnell departed for Crazy Militant Wench Land, Ellen has done a fine job filling the role as America's Favorite Amiable Lesbian.  She's likeable and safely funny in that way that makes her perfect for daytime TV.  And Portia DiRossi is pretty hot, so I'll give her points for that too.  It's just that I don't see her as a fantastic addition to AI.


The thing about Paula is (while she was known as the "nice judge"), that wasn't the entertaining thing about her.  Sure, it's strategic to have her as a counterpoint to Simon, but the trainwreck aspect of it, the tension between her and Simon, and her general craziness were a much bigger contribution to the show than the niceness factor.  And I just don't see Ellen filling that void.


Despite her reputation, Paula was not all sunshine and compliments for everyone.  She could summon up a critique from time to time, and even occasionally some constructive advice . . . the total incoherence of which only added to its charm.  Ellen's judging stints (e.g. on So You Think You Can Dance) indicate one of those be-nice-to-everyone celebrities, which is utterly booooring on a panel that already has Randy and Kara to send us diving for the remote.  Dawg.  (And the fact that Ellen has another show and image to maintain don't make one optimistic that she'll suddenly discover her cold and mean side.)  Frankly, I'm not even sure why she has the credentials to be a judge.  I mean, Paula did have a recording career, however trite and brief.  Ellen is there on the strength of what?  Her comedy chops?  Her ability to promote goofy fun dancing?


Of course, I should freely admit that I'm pretty biased against most any Paula replacement.  I never would have considered myself a Paula Abdul fan before, but unless they can find someone who will wear a tiara while telling a contestant to sing through her eyelids so that we can see the rainbows in her soul, I'm pretty much guaranteed to be disappointed.