Issues With . . . Project Runway 7
Sometimes, no matter how much you like a show, you can't help but make petty, niggling criticisms of it. So here are our issues (so far) with the new season of Project Runway.
Episode 7 "The Elements of Fashion" (airdate 3/4/10)
--And then there were 10. I'm not entirely sure why this is such a cause for celebration among the contestants. Sure, it's nice to not have been eliminated yet. But there are still an awful lot of people around. It's a little premature for the "I'm almost to Fashion Week" crowing. If nothing else, why not consider the possibility that you're giving the producers exactly the footage that will make you look like the biggest ass on earth if you get auf'd this episode.
--Hooray! An unconventional materials challenge. Who cares how practical it is? This is entertainment, darn it. I want to see tears and hissy fits. Not to mention that these are the challenges that can really show the true innovators. But mostly I love the hissy fits and trainwrecks.
--Enough already with the color blocking Mila. There's a difference between a signature element and a tired and overdone theme. Guess which one we're in now? I just do not get why the judges were so taken with this look. It seemed so stiff and awkward and dull.
--How is it that the designers manage to make things that are too small for the models? These are girls so skinny that they can run through closed doors. And yet (and on a fairly regular basis, no less) the designers keep turning out stuff that's too short, too tight, and just plain too small. Who are they designing for? Aliens? Small children? Dolls?
--I concede that Jay's garbage bag look was pretty neat, but I maintain that using garbage bags in an unconventional materials challenge is . . . well, not cheating, but kind of taking the easy way out. I mean, we established many seasons ago that trash bags can mimic leather, and they're really the closest thing in the store to actual fabric. Great look, but I'm not overcome by the innovation.
--I haven't been a fan of Emilio this season--his clothes have run hot and cold, and he has a tendency towards snobbery and insufferable comments. But I had to like the fact that he defended his (bizarre and unattractive) washer bathing suit without a lot of excuses about the difficulty of the challenge or the lack of time. That may well be a PR first.
--Maya was robbed. She was the only one who really created a full head-to-toe look and an accessory that didn't seem like an afterthought. Honestly, why even include the accessory requirement if the judges were going to overlook it? (Also, see earlier grudge against use of garbage bags.) And I say this even having a slight Hawaii bias for Jay, who is cute as a gay, Asian button.
--I can't say that Jesse's look was worse than Emilio's or Anthony's. I won't cry "producer manipulation" as it seems pretty clear that the judges are just more taken with Anthony and Emilio. And I will admit that they're both more entertaining than Jesse. But from a strict "Who had the worst look?" perspective, it does seem a little unfair for Jesse to go home.
Episode 6 "A Little Bit of Fashion" (airdate 2/18/10)
--Can this really be the first time that Project Runway has done a challenge revolving around dressing a young girl? It's such a natural and obvious fit that it just can't seem possible. After all, little girls in the height of their princessy stage are such demanding critics that the designers would be dying for a Nina dressing-down instead. Not to mention that they're nearly on par with professional models in their joy at commanding attention at a catwalk.
--Well, it seems pretty clear at this point that Mila is the openly mean/hard one, while Emilio will be playing the part of undercover passive-aggressive jerk. It's nice to finally have a villain to root against, even if they lack the chops to move into the upper echelon of PR villains. They're not even fit to breathe the same air as Kenley or Irina. But you work with what you have.
--I refuse to believe that anyone didn't see the "twist" coming. It was such an obvious addition that I think that any contestant who didn't start planning for that second look as soon as they heard the challenge described is dangerously Realty TV-illiterate.
--Speaking of Reality literacy, Jonathan's announcement of his classic strategy may be a Project Runway first of its own--not that he is the first ever to plan to play it safe for the first half of the season, then plan to pull out the tricks and get noticed in the second half. He's just the first to admit to it. For which he was punished by the Gods of Design by creating a weird, stiff, pair of looks evidently created from heavily-starched Kleenex.
--I pretty much loved Seth Aaron's creation. No bitching about anyone getting robbed here--I think he deserved the win. Then again, when he's on, he creates the kind of clothes that I would want to wear if I was significantly cooler (and wealthier) than I am.
--I didn't hate Amy's petal outfits as much as the judges. Not being a schizophrenic homeless person looking to join the circus, I wouldn't ever choose to wear those pants, but it was an interesting idea. Totally unwearable, but at least it didn't bore me.
--Most obvious elimination edit ever. Condolences, Jeanine, but anyone who couldn't see this coming a mile away should be declared legally blind. For God's sake, they showed her talking to her loved ones. (Let this be a warning to you, reality contestants. If you feel like you're on the fence for elimination and a producer suggests that you call your family, don't do it! Feign a heart attack or start a fight with another contestant. But don't let them get some sympathetic footage on you.) Anyway, poor Jeanine has been looking a bit lost for weeks now. I think she's probably one of those designers who isn't made for high-pressure, contrived design challenges. It's like being the Iron Chef--it's almost its own skill set at this point.
Episode 5 "Run for Cover" (airdate 2/11/10)
--It's an exciting turn of events to have all the hype about show firsts and "best rewards" actually pan out into something good. Especially in the last season or so, we've seen so much, "and this has never happened before in the history of Project Runway," that the phrasing has begun to lose all meaning. It's at the point now where I expect to hear that phrase in the previews, only to find out that it's referring to the first time a contestant has ever been caught eating a bowl of Fruit Loops on-camera.
--Credit where credit is due, however--this really is a good prize. The cover of Marie Claire. (Which has really been exploiting its PR connections as of late--a smart move, since I'm such a sucker that I've now added them to my growing collection of magazines full of clothing that I can't possibly afford.) And with Heidi as your model. Not too shabby. Ordinarily, I would hope for an extra twist to the challenge, but the designers were already stressed enough about creating a cover-worthy look in 24 hours. Making them do it from recycled materials or only in seafoam green would probably cause multiple nervous breakdowns.
--Apparently Mila isn't there to make friends. What a shock. Do abrasive reality TV personalities just throw this out there as a preventive measure? A sort of, "I know that I'm an annoying bitch, so I'm just going to let everyone in TV land know that I know so that it seems intentional and empowered rather than self-centered and banal." Just because you're there to win doesn't justify the belief that you're God's gift to design and can afford to be nasty to your competition. Not that Mila is nasty, of course. She just think a bit too highly of herself. But she's not exactly the only one in the workroom suffering from that particular disorder. (*cough* Right, Emilio? *cough*)
--Overall, a better showing than the Bright Red Dress atrocity of last week, but still a perplexing series of designs this week. After all, the actual editor of Marie Claire told them before they even started designing that color was very important to a cover shot. Color. So why the hell did we get so many damned beige dresses? Why would you hear, "Spring issue, color," and think, "Beige." Beige may be a color from a scientific standpoint, but in fashion, it's just a WASPy black. It's definitely not the thing you want to put on the cover of your fashion magazine to stand out and grab attention on the newsstand.
--Congratulations to Anthony for a well-earned win. Apparently, he was one of the few who understood that color, Heidi, and close-up cover shot means turning out an interesting, detailed look that will look great on the model and draw the eye of a potential buyer. Totally gorgeous dress.
--And Anna is auf. Not surprising, since she essentially gave us a look that says, "My mom gave me her credit card and drove me to Forever 21." It wasn't even hideously ugly or fantastically slutty or falling apart at the seams--you know, those little details that let you really enjoy an auf'ing. It was just . . . blah. So dull that it's a miracle the whole production staff didn't doze off while her model went down the runway. At least it wasn't beige though.
Episode 4 "Design Your Heart Out" (airdate 2/4/10)
--Oh noes! The designers have to use "real women" in this challenge. The humanity! How could the producers be so cruel as to require fashion designers to make clothes for people who don't feel the need to purge after eating a saltine? Everyone knows that fashion is not meant for ordinary human beings to wear. I believe we're just supposed to admire it on fashion models and other anorexia devotees.
--Actually, I think the producers over-did this challenge. Real women and using red and a brand tie-in? Way too many elements. They actually frustrated the drama that they were hoping to build by throwing too much at the designers. Not to mention the fact that giving them so many limitations results in a runway full of dull, safe dresses. Note to PR challenge designers--give them ONE major limitation and then let them be creative in every other way. This many design curbs pushes everyone into the same limiting box and stifles creativity. Exhibit A: Project Runway 6 (otherwise known as the LA Fashion Massacre).
--I don't mean to be a jerk, but why give us real women with inspiring near-death stories? Obviously, when you've had a heart problem that almost killed you, you're not going to get too worked up when your designer ignores your preference for Grecian draping or sends you down the runway in a Valentine's Day Whore ensemble. And while this may make you someone I'd like to know in real life, it is terrible reality TV. The thing we all love about the real women challenges is how it inevitably includes at least one picky, high-maintenance client with terrible taste and sends the designer into a tearful tailspin. I don't want to watch strong women with an appreciation for life get clothes made for them. This isn't freaking Extreme Makeover: Wardrobe. I want some shallow, self-centered witches. Other than the regular models, of course.
--Wow, there was a whole lot of ass on that runway, wasn't there. I can't remember the last time I saw so many mediocre designs on PR. Oh yeah! That was last season. Really. I could do better at the clearance rack at TJ Maxx. Not a single dress that I would be willing to pay real money for. Much less wear to a gala event. Even the top 3 were more notable for not being actively bad than anything else.
--So . . . er . . . congratulations to Amy for a design that didn't completely suck. To be fair, it moved beautifully. On the other hand, it looked like a sack of red chiffon bound in by twist ties and made the model's waist disappear. And why are the judges so excited about frayed edges this season? I hope that doesn't mean that we're in for a few seasons of racks full of knock-off styles trailing loose threads and unfinished edges.
--Jesus. I'm always said when someone named Jesus leaves a reality show before I get the opportunity to make a bunch of Jesus-related jokes. Because that his dress would make the baby Jesus cry. It's hard to top the judges on what was wrong with Jesus' dress--especially Kors' observation that it basically contained every possible tacky element in one design. Too tight. Too short. Too shiny. With rhinestone straps. Seriously, there are strippers who would reject that dress for being too whorish. I think we all knew this moment was coming since the first challenge with the brown crocodile lounge gown disaster. And I think we also knew that he would eventually go out in a blaze of cheap sluttiness. For so it is written, "Yea, verily, people named Jesus doth suck at reality shows."
Episode 3 "The Highs and Lows of Fashion" (airdate 1/28/10)
--Ah, the team challenge. If we go to long between team-style episodes, then there is a huge danger that the audience won't hear the phrase, "thrown under the bus," more than a thousand times a season. And we just can't have that. Where is this bus? And why do people keep standing close enough to it that they can be hurled in its path? (Ahem. I mean metaphorically, of course.) It's one of the Commandments of reality TV. If we can't get people to have sex, then we need to manipulate them into sniping at each other. It's, like, the American way and stuff.
--I would complain about this being yet another, "design a pretty dress," challenge, but I must be mellowing after the horror of the LA season. Well, that and the fact that they gave us the "design a second look inspired by a competitor's outfit," twist. When will the contestants learn that the judges aren't going to cut you a break for having to deal with a twist as part of your reality tv contest? Stop phoning in the extra look, people. It will get you every time.
--After spending almost the entire episode watching Anthony and Seth Aaron banter and Ping and Jesse bicker, I was actually starting to doubt the inevitable result based on the editing. More specifically, it was so obvious that they were all getting the "bottom finish" edit that I started to wonder if the whole thing was a misdirect and that one of them was going to win. Yes, that's how obvious your editing is, PR people. You actually made me question the obvious evidence of craptastic fashion in front of me.
--Interesting that after all that fussing about how Mila only worked on the jacket, Mila actually ended up winning the whole thing. I can't say that I was in love with it--especially the big, allegedly sporty white stripe on it. But I can see where the judges were coming from. I too get a little bored with the endless attempts to give us a new perspective on the pretty gown.
--I am sad to see Ping go. And not just because of how fun it is to say "Ping." I enjoy the kookiness. And it's also pretty fun to see her colleagues try to put up with her while trying to maintain a safe distance from the crazy. Also, Jesse seemed like an uptight douche, so seeing someone make him worried and frustrated on his own behalf was pretty satisfying.
Episode 2 "The Fashion Farm" (airdate 1/21/10)
--Nifty idea, combining an unconventional materials challenge with a model/client challenge. Ok, it's not a true unconventional materials challenge, since everyone is working with (the same) fabric. A tough fabric, yes, but a fabric nonetheless. Still, a surprisingly witty idea, which proves once again that LA really sucked the imagination out of this show.
--I was a little disappointed that the models weren't more difficult, both in the choosing process and the design process. Damn this professionalism. Who doesn't enjoy a little reality drama featuring high maintenance clients and designer meltdowns? The best we could get was Mila's endless whining about the fact that her model abandoned her for another designer. Sheesh woman, let it go already. The chick didn't like your designs. Since I haven't any memory at all of your entry last week, I can't say that I blame her.
--My problem with Jesus' design was not the integrity of his approach regarding the challenge. It was the fact that it was so damned ugly. Who looks at a pea soup green and says, "this would make a great dress"?
--I don't really get the hoopla over Mila's dress. The cut was nice enough, but I thought that the metallic design on it was uneven and confusing to the eye. Not to mention the weirdness of hearing a judge defend a dress that threatens a nip slip every time the model moves. It wasn't a bad dress necessarily, but I don't see the need to heap praise on a walking wardrobe malfunction.
--Some people would cry "producer manipulation" on the fact that Ping didn't get eliminated for a dress that created rain bucket hips and an ass-baring slit. And some people would also claim that my Asian bias is driving me to defend her. But I can kind of see why the judges let through that hot mess and auf'd Pamela. In the end, Pamela's faux denim hoochie dress looked like something you could buy at that cheap teen trend store at the mall. Congratulations! You made a burlap dress look like a cheap denim dress. Ping did at least show innovation in her massive fail. And the judges are almost always going to go for messy innovation over boring and cheap-looking.
--Kudos to Jay for the win. I admit that I was pulling for Amy, since I think the way she worked with the burlap was more interesting. (Or maybe I just liked the fact that you could see the fabric, and yet it didn't seem to look or move like burlap.) But I can't really argue with Jay as the winner--it was a nice piece.
Episode 1 "Back to New York" (airdate 1/14/10)
--Damn you Project Runway. I am now forced to say complementary things about New York--something I try to avoid doing as much as possible. It's not that I have anything against New York. It's a cool, exciting place. It's just that so many other people say that--not least of whom are New Yorkers themselves--that I don't feel the need to participate. Praising New York City is like going on about how gorgeous Angelina Jolie is. You're not adding anything new, and you're just contributing to an overinflated ego.
--And yet, it's like being back in NYC completely revitalized the show. There's energy. There's thoughtful criticism. There are designs that don't send me into a boredom-induced coma. And best of all, Nina and Michael are back. It's too early to say for sure, but early indications are that we have a season that will actually make sense.
--There are two types of first challenges: the ones where they screw the contestants over with unorthodox materials and demand creativity; and the ones (like this one) where they give them a wide variety of good materials, no design limits, and demand great execution and a point of view. And while I do love the unorthodox materials challenges, there is something to be said for getting a clear look at everyone's aesthetic right off the bat. Not that everyone was overwhelmingly creative in their approach. Based on this runway, I'd say that we're in for a season of very short skirts, strangely puffy hips, and oddly-placed bunches of fabric.
--I confess that I didn't really "get" Ping's outfit. They didn't really let us look at it at length in the episode, and based on its good reception, I'm guessing it is more impressive in person. I am glad that she wasn't in danger of leaving, since it seems we're a bit shy of batty and emotional contestants this season, and I like to have a few of those around for entertainment value.
--That leather evening gown was awful. Michael Kors really nailed it when he said it evoked '70s Las Vegas lounges. That explains why I instinctively wanted to see it on an overly-tanned woman with bottle blonde hair and a menthol cigarette.
--I loved Hollywood Montrose. Er . . . I mean Anthony. The dress wasn't great, but he's easily the most fun contestant so far.
--One of the reasons I'm feeling so heartened by the first episode was that the winning design was so nice. Well-executed, beautiful--something that I would be excited about seeing in a store. The worst criticism that the judges could find for it was that Heidi (master of the short, tight skirt) doesn't care much for fuller skirts.
--Who didn't know that Christiana was going home as soon as we: 1.) Learned a little about her personal life struggle; and 2.) We heard her talk about how good she is? If you didn't see that coming, than you fail Reality TV 101. I don't know that I felt her dress was the absolute worst one, but I wasn't jumping for joy over yet another design that looks like 2 different dresses trying to make a baby.
Episode 7 "The Elements of Fashion" (airdate 3/4/10)
--And then there were 10. I'm not entirely sure why this is such a cause for celebration among the contestants. Sure, it's nice to not have been eliminated yet. But there are still an awful lot of people around. It's a little premature for the "I'm almost to Fashion Week" crowing. If nothing else, why not consider the possibility that you're giving the producers exactly the footage that will make you look like the biggest ass on earth if you get auf'd this episode.
--Hooray! An unconventional materials challenge. Who cares how practical it is? This is entertainment, darn it. I want to see tears and hissy fits. Not to mention that these are the challenges that can really show the true innovators. But mostly I love the hissy fits and trainwrecks.
--Enough already with the color blocking Mila. There's a difference between a signature element and a tired and overdone theme. Guess which one we're in now? I just do not get why the judges were so taken with this look. It seemed so stiff and awkward and dull.
--How is it that the designers manage to make things that are too small for the models? These are girls so skinny that they can run through closed doors. And yet (and on a fairly regular basis, no less) the designers keep turning out stuff that's too short, too tight, and just plain too small. Who are they designing for? Aliens? Small children? Dolls?
--I concede that Jay's garbage bag look was pretty neat, but I maintain that using garbage bags in an unconventional materials challenge is . . . well, not cheating, but kind of taking the easy way out. I mean, we established many seasons ago that trash bags can mimic leather, and they're really the closest thing in the store to actual fabric. Great look, but I'm not overcome by the innovation.
--I haven't been a fan of Emilio this season--his clothes have run hot and cold, and he has a tendency towards snobbery and insufferable comments. But I had to like the fact that he defended his (bizarre and unattractive) washer bathing suit without a lot of excuses about the difficulty of the challenge or the lack of time. That may well be a PR first.
--Maya was robbed. She was the only one who really created a full head-to-toe look and an accessory that didn't seem like an afterthought. Honestly, why even include the accessory requirement if the judges were going to overlook it? (Also, see earlier grudge against use of garbage bags.) And I say this even having a slight Hawaii bias for Jay, who is cute as a gay, Asian button.
--I can't say that Jesse's look was worse than Emilio's or Anthony's. I won't cry "producer manipulation" as it seems pretty clear that the judges are just more taken with Anthony and Emilio. And I will admit that they're both more entertaining than Jesse. But from a strict "Who had the worst look?" perspective, it does seem a little unfair for Jesse to go home.
Episode 6 "A Little Bit of Fashion" (airdate 2/18/10)
--Can this really be the first time that Project Runway has done a challenge revolving around dressing a young girl? It's such a natural and obvious fit that it just can't seem possible. After all, little girls in the height of their princessy stage are such demanding critics that the designers would be dying for a Nina dressing-down instead. Not to mention that they're nearly on par with professional models in their joy at commanding attention at a catwalk.
--Well, it seems pretty clear at this point that Mila is the openly mean/hard one, while Emilio will be playing the part of undercover passive-aggressive jerk. It's nice to finally have a villain to root against, even if they lack the chops to move into the upper echelon of PR villains. They're not even fit to breathe the same air as Kenley or Irina. But you work with what you have.
--I refuse to believe that anyone didn't see the "twist" coming. It was such an obvious addition that I think that any contestant who didn't start planning for that second look as soon as they heard the challenge described is dangerously Realty TV-illiterate.
--Speaking of Reality literacy, Jonathan's announcement of his classic strategy may be a Project Runway first of its own--not that he is the first ever to plan to play it safe for the first half of the season, then plan to pull out the tricks and get noticed in the second half. He's just the first to admit to it. For which he was punished by the Gods of Design by creating a weird, stiff, pair of looks evidently created from heavily-starched Kleenex.
--I pretty much loved Seth Aaron's creation. No bitching about anyone getting robbed here--I think he deserved the win. Then again, when he's on, he creates the kind of clothes that I would want to wear if I was significantly cooler (and wealthier) than I am.
--I didn't hate Amy's petal outfits as much as the judges. Not being a schizophrenic homeless person looking to join the circus, I wouldn't ever choose to wear those pants, but it was an interesting idea. Totally unwearable, but at least it didn't bore me.
--Most obvious elimination edit ever. Condolences, Jeanine, but anyone who couldn't see this coming a mile away should be declared legally blind. For God's sake, they showed her talking to her loved ones. (Let this be a warning to you, reality contestants. If you feel like you're on the fence for elimination and a producer suggests that you call your family, don't do it! Feign a heart attack or start a fight with another contestant. But don't let them get some sympathetic footage on you.) Anyway, poor Jeanine has been looking a bit lost for weeks now. I think she's probably one of those designers who isn't made for high-pressure, contrived design challenges. It's like being the Iron Chef--it's almost its own skill set at this point.
Episode 5 "Run for Cover" (airdate 2/11/10)
--It's an exciting turn of events to have all the hype about show firsts and "best rewards" actually pan out into something good. Especially in the last season or so, we've seen so much, "and this has never happened before in the history of Project Runway," that the phrasing has begun to lose all meaning. It's at the point now where I expect to hear that phrase in the previews, only to find out that it's referring to the first time a contestant has ever been caught eating a bowl of Fruit Loops on-camera.
--Credit where credit is due, however--this really is a good prize. The cover of Marie Claire. (Which has really been exploiting its PR connections as of late--a smart move, since I'm such a sucker that I've now added them to my growing collection of magazines full of clothing that I can't possibly afford.) And with Heidi as your model. Not too shabby. Ordinarily, I would hope for an extra twist to the challenge, but the designers were already stressed enough about creating a cover-worthy look in 24 hours. Making them do it from recycled materials or only in seafoam green would probably cause multiple nervous breakdowns.
--Apparently Mila isn't there to make friends. What a shock. Do abrasive reality TV personalities just throw this out there as a preventive measure? A sort of, "I know that I'm an annoying bitch, so I'm just going to let everyone in TV land know that I know so that it seems intentional and empowered rather than self-centered and banal." Just because you're there to win doesn't justify the belief that you're God's gift to design and can afford to be nasty to your competition. Not that Mila is nasty, of course. She just think a bit too highly of herself. But she's not exactly the only one in the workroom suffering from that particular disorder. (*cough* Right, Emilio? *cough*)
--Overall, a better showing than the Bright Red Dress atrocity of last week, but still a perplexing series of designs this week. After all, the actual editor of Marie Claire told them before they even started designing that color was very important to a cover shot. Color. So why the hell did we get so many damned beige dresses? Why would you hear, "Spring issue, color," and think, "Beige." Beige may be a color from a scientific standpoint, but in fashion, it's just a WASPy black. It's definitely not the thing you want to put on the cover of your fashion magazine to stand out and grab attention on the newsstand.
--Congratulations to Anthony for a well-earned win. Apparently, he was one of the few who understood that color, Heidi, and close-up cover shot means turning out an interesting, detailed look that will look great on the model and draw the eye of a potential buyer. Totally gorgeous dress.
--And Anna is auf. Not surprising, since she essentially gave us a look that says, "My mom gave me her credit card and drove me to Forever 21." It wasn't even hideously ugly or fantastically slutty or falling apart at the seams--you know, those little details that let you really enjoy an auf'ing. It was just . . . blah. So dull that it's a miracle the whole production staff didn't doze off while her model went down the runway. At least it wasn't beige though.
Episode 4 "Design Your Heart Out" (airdate 2/4/10)
--Oh noes! The designers have to use "real women" in this challenge. The humanity! How could the producers be so cruel as to require fashion designers to make clothes for people who don't feel the need to purge after eating a saltine? Everyone knows that fashion is not meant for ordinary human beings to wear. I believe we're just supposed to admire it on fashion models and other anorexia devotees.
--Actually, I think the producers over-did this challenge. Real women and using red and a brand tie-in? Way too many elements. They actually frustrated the drama that they were hoping to build by throwing too much at the designers. Not to mention the fact that giving them so many limitations results in a runway full of dull, safe dresses. Note to PR challenge designers--give them ONE major limitation and then let them be creative in every other way. This many design curbs pushes everyone into the same limiting box and stifles creativity. Exhibit A: Project Runway 6 (otherwise known as the LA Fashion Massacre).
--I don't mean to be a jerk, but why give us real women with inspiring near-death stories? Obviously, when you've had a heart problem that almost killed you, you're not going to get too worked up when your designer ignores your preference for Grecian draping or sends you down the runway in a Valentine's Day Whore ensemble. And while this may make you someone I'd like to know in real life, it is terrible reality TV. The thing we all love about the real women challenges is how it inevitably includes at least one picky, high-maintenance client with terrible taste and sends the designer into a tearful tailspin. I don't want to watch strong women with an appreciation for life get clothes made for them. This isn't freaking Extreme Makeover: Wardrobe. I want some shallow, self-centered witches. Other than the regular models, of course.
--Wow, there was a whole lot of ass on that runway, wasn't there. I can't remember the last time I saw so many mediocre designs on PR. Oh yeah! That was last season. Really. I could do better at the clearance rack at TJ Maxx. Not a single dress that I would be willing to pay real money for. Much less wear to a gala event. Even the top 3 were more notable for not being actively bad than anything else.
--So . . . er . . . congratulations to Amy for a design that didn't completely suck. To be fair, it moved beautifully. On the other hand, it looked like a sack of red chiffon bound in by twist ties and made the model's waist disappear. And why are the judges so excited about frayed edges this season? I hope that doesn't mean that we're in for a few seasons of racks full of knock-off styles trailing loose threads and unfinished edges.
--Jesus. I'm always said when someone named Jesus leaves a reality show before I get the opportunity to make a bunch of Jesus-related jokes. Because that his dress would make the baby Jesus cry. It's hard to top the judges on what was wrong with Jesus' dress--especially Kors' observation that it basically contained every possible tacky element in one design. Too tight. Too short. Too shiny. With rhinestone straps. Seriously, there are strippers who would reject that dress for being too whorish. I think we all knew this moment was coming since the first challenge with the brown crocodile lounge gown disaster. And I think we also knew that he would eventually go out in a blaze of cheap sluttiness. For so it is written, "Yea, verily, people named Jesus doth suck at reality shows."
Episode 3 "The Highs and Lows of Fashion" (airdate 1/28/10)
--Ah, the team challenge. If we go to long between team-style episodes, then there is a huge danger that the audience won't hear the phrase, "thrown under the bus," more than a thousand times a season. And we just can't have that. Where is this bus? And why do people keep standing close enough to it that they can be hurled in its path? (Ahem. I mean metaphorically, of course.) It's one of the Commandments of reality TV. If we can't get people to have sex, then we need to manipulate them into sniping at each other. It's, like, the American way and stuff.
--I would complain about this being yet another, "design a pretty dress," challenge, but I must be mellowing after the horror of the LA season. Well, that and the fact that they gave us the "design a second look inspired by a competitor's outfit," twist. When will the contestants learn that the judges aren't going to cut you a break for having to deal with a twist as part of your reality tv contest? Stop phoning in the extra look, people. It will get you every time.
--After spending almost the entire episode watching Anthony and Seth Aaron banter and Ping and Jesse bicker, I was actually starting to doubt the inevitable result based on the editing. More specifically, it was so obvious that they were all getting the "bottom finish" edit that I started to wonder if the whole thing was a misdirect and that one of them was going to win. Yes, that's how obvious your editing is, PR people. You actually made me question the obvious evidence of craptastic fashion in front of me.
--Interesting that after all that fussing about how Mila only worked on the jacket, Mila actually ended up winning the whole thing. I can't say that I was in love with it--especially the big, allegedly sporty white stripe on it. But I can see where the judges were coming from. I too get a little bored with the endless attempts to give us a new perspective on the pretty gown.
--I am sad to see Ping go. And not just because of how fun it is to say "Ping." I enjoy the kookiness. And it's also pretty fun to see her colleagues try to put up with her while trying to maintain a safe distance from the crazy. Also, Jesse seemed like an uptight douche, so seeing someone make him worried and frustrated on his own behalf was pretty satisfying.
Episode 2 "The Fashion Farm" (airdate 1/21/10)
--Nifty idea, combining an unconventional materials challenge with a model/client challenge. Ok, it's not a true unconventional materials challenge, since everyone is working with (the same) fabric. A tough fabric, yes, but a fabric nonetheless. Still, a surprisingly witty idea, which proves once again that LA really sucked the imagination out of this show.
--I was a little disappointed that the models weren't more difficult, both in the choosing process and the design process. Damn this professionalism. Who doesn't enjoy a little reality drama featuring high maintenance clients and designer meltdowns? The best we could get was Mila's endless whining about the fact that her model abandoned her for another designer. Sheesh woman, let it go already. The chick didn't like your designs. Since I haven't any memory at all of your entry last week, I can't say that I blame her.
--My problem with Jesus' design was not the integrity of his approach regarding the challenge. It was the fact that it was so damned ugly. Who looks at a pea soup green and says, "this would make a great dress"?
--I don't really get the hoopla over Mila's dress. The cut was nice enough, but I thought that the metallic design on it was uneven and confusing to the eye. Not to mention the weirdness of hearing a judge defend a dress that threatens a nip slip every time the model moves. It wasn't a bad dress necessarily, but I don't see the need to heap praise on a walking wardrobe malfunction.
--Some people would cry "producer manipulation" on the fact that Ping didn't get eliminated for a dress that created rain bucket hips and an ass-baring slit. And some people would also claim that my Asian bias is driving me to defend her. But I can kind of see why the judges let through that hot mess and auf'd Pamela. In the end, Pamela's faux denim hoochie dress looked like something you could buy at that cheap teen trend store at the mall. Congratulations! You made a burlap dress look like a cheap denim dress. Ping did at least show innovation in her massive fail. And the judges are almost always going to go for messy innovation over boring and cheap-looking.
--Kudos to Jay for the win. I admit that I was pulling for Amy, since I think the way she worked with the burlap was more interesting. (Or maybe I just liked the fact that you could see the fabric, and yet it didn't seem to look or move like burlap.) But I can't really argue with Jay as the winner--it was a nice piece.
Episode 1 "Back to New York" (airdate 1/14/10)
--Damn you Project Runway. I am now forced to say complementary things about New York--something I try to avoid doing as much as possible. It's not that I have anything against New York. It's a cool, exciting place. It's just that so many other people say that--not least of whom are New Yorkers themselves--that I don't feel the need to participate. Praising New York City is like going on about how gorgeous Angelina Jolie is. You're not adding anything new, and you're just contributing to an overinflated ego.
--And yet, it's like being back in NYC completely revitalized the show. There's energy. There's thoughtful criticism. There are designs that don't send me into a boredom-induced coma. And best of all, Nina and Michael are back. It's too early to say for sure, but early indications are that we have a season that will actually make sense.
--There are two types of first challenges: the ones where they screw the contestants over with unorthodox materials and demand creativity; and the ones (like this one) where they give them a wide variety of good materials, no design limits, and demand great execution and a point of view. And while I do love the unorthodox materials challenges, there is something to be said for getting a clear look at everyone's aesthetic right off the bat. Not that everyone was overwhelmingly creative in their approach. Based on this runway, I'd say that we're in for a season of very short skirts, strangely puffy hips, and oddly-placed bunches of fabric.
--I confess that I didn't really "get" Ping's outfit. They didn't really let us look at it at length in the episode, and based on its good reception, I'm guessing it is more impressive in person. I am glad that she wasn't in danger of leaving, since it seems we're a bit shy of batty and emotional contestants this season, and I like to have a few of those around for entertainment value.
--That leather evening gown was awful. Michael Kors really nailed it when he said it evoked '70s Las Vegas lounges. That explains why I instinctively wanted to see it on an overly-tanned woman with bottle blonde hair and a menthol cigarette.
--I loved Hollywood Montrose. Er . . . I mean Anthony. The dress wasn't great, but he's easily the most fun contestant so far.
--One of the reasons I'm feeling so heartened by the first episode was that the winning design was so nice. Well-executed, beautiful--something that I would be excited about seeing in a store. The worst criticism that the judges could find for it was that Heidi (master of the short, tight skirt) doesn't care much for fuller skirts.
--Who didn't know that Christiana was going home as soon as we: 1.) Learned a little about her personal life struggle; and 2.) We heard her talk about how good she is? If you didn't see that coming, than you fail Reality TV 101. I don't know that I felt her dress was the absolute worst one, but I wasn't jumping for joy over yet another design that looks like 2 different dresses trying to make a baby.