Issues With . . . Project Runway
Sometimes, no matter how much you like a show, you can't help but make petty, niggling criticisms of it. So here are our issues (so far) with the new season of Project Runway.
Episode 14 "Finale Part 2" (airdate 11/19/09)
--Huh. Well. There was a fashion show. And someone won the season. So there's that, anyway. I guess you could say that the finale fit the season. Underwhelming to the point where you actually have to remind yourself that it wasn't all that bad. Because it certainly wasn't. There were clothes, some creative, some attractive. But just as the season lacked a "wow," so did the final collections.
--Carol Hannah's collection was very dress-oriented and was the only glimpse of color amidst a sea of dull and unadventurous neutrals. While I can't claim that Carol Hannah was robbed (again, no one really wowed me), I was pulling for her a bit--both on the "not a royal bitch" front and because she had moments that seemed as though she might one day produce something interesting. And also because I'm not a fan of Irina's obsessive New Yorkishness style or Althea's . . . er . . . I'm not sure what kind of style Althea represents. I'm not even sure that she produces anything unified or cohesive enough to be a style.
--What was up with the judge's constant harping on Althea's "trendiness" regarding "the streets." That girl is so white bread that she craps vanilla ice cream. If, by stressing her alleged "street awareness," they meant, "Althea watches a lot of MTV," I might be able to agree. I will give her the credit of saying that she did seem slightly younger and fresher than her rivals--but I think this was less to do with collection (which seemed to me to be composed of slight echoes of other designers trends-of-the-moment), and more to do with the fact that Irina turned out something very heavy and East Coast-ish, and Carol Hannah presented a more formal collection. Honestly, I didn't see a lot of "fashion" in Althea's collection. It just looked like a random selection of clothes pulled out of the closet of someone who likes to shop at Forever 21. (Almost nothing fit the, "it looks expensive," praise that seems to be the judges' highest possible accolade.)
--The one fashion element that Althea did try to carry through her collection (with very little success) were highly structured (and sometimes enormous) shoulders to her garment. She seemed to think that this evoked '60s sci-fi movies. But for me, it mostly evoked Dynasty re-runs.
--Irina must have the world's worst poker face. It may be too much to ask her to fake some sincerity now and then, but could she at least attempt to repress the eye rolls and fakey smiles? Anyway, her collection was . . . black. It made it hard to see the individuality of each piece, and made the whole display a little heavy and monotonous for me. I can't even remember any particular piece she did--they all have an unfortunate tendency to blend together in my recollection. She did have some nice detail work on a lot of her pieces, but it was just so . . . New York. Regardless of what New Yorkers think, this is not necessarily a look or lifestyle that we all pine for. The idea of clothing reflecting the armor that one needs to navigate your city just makes me want to put on an old sweatshirt and drink cocoa in front of the TV.
--Despite my obvious dislike for her, I guess I can't complain about Irina getting the win. At least out of this group. She did have the most cohesive collection, even if it wasn't really to my taste. I can, however, complain about the group--and indeed, the season as a whole. Like the final, it just seemed lackluster and ho-hum. Maybe it was the switch to LA. Maybe it was the switch to Lifetime. It definitely was (in part) due to the cracked-out judging and the unimaginative challenges. I'm not going to get all drama and swear off the show completely. (I am, after all, someone who watched America's Next Top Model long after it went from merely silly to ludicrous and obviously staged.) But if they're going to keep the show from doing a triple gainer over the circling sharks, it's total "Make It Work" time.
Episode 13 "Finale Part 1" (airdate 11/12/09)
--It's hard to know what to say about this epipsode--it should really be subtitled "The Tease Episode." We get to see little glimpses of the final collections, but not enough to give us any real feel for them. We don't even get to see someone in a single finished look. So you spend time trying to add Tim's advice with how things look on hangers and draped on tables to get some idea of what the runway show will be like.
--Of course, it is fun to make wild assumptions about the designers and their lives based on the stagey meal that they traditionally share with Tim when he visits them at home. In the past, I remember being surprised by Santino without his mask, amused at the sight of Tim getting loose at Korto's family party, and intrigued by the fact that Kenley may have been the only finalist designer to skip the meeting-family-and-friends part. In keeping with the season, unfortunately, the family meets were largely bland. Though Irina's did seem a tad forced on the "poor immigrant makes good" storyline. Her parents didn't exactly look like they were supporting her design dreams by taking in laundry and collecting cans. (Though it was funny to have Irina's speech about winning over her disapproving Dad come right before we see her Dad genially toast her and wish her success.)
--Memo to Irina: If you can't make your smile of concern reach your eyes, then it's better not to say anything sympathetic about Carol Hannah's illness. Otherwise, you get the classic mean sorority girl effect: "Oh no, I'm so sorry you're sick. I would hate to have anything happen to you so that you can't finish this competition and I just have to win it myself."
--So the collections: From the little we saw, I think Carol Hannah has the mystery placement--will the judges think it's whimsical and elegant or boring and overworked? Considering how many gowns Chloe showed in her PR win, I don't think the number of dresses will be a problem, no matter how heavily the judges have been inhaling from the crack pipe this season.
--Again, it's too early to know for sure, but it looks like Althea will the 3rd place finisher. Too many wrinkled brows of concern from Tim Gunn, and the pieces we have seen seem disconnected from one another.
--I may be the wrong person to comment on Irina's mostly-black palette. While I confess that I wear a lot (lot, lot, lot) of black--as is required by law for women living in the New York or DC areas, I'm not in love with it as a runway theme. It's visually dull and can even seem safe or unimaginative. From what we can see of her collection, it has that finished Irina look. I'm not sure that it's exciting, but if Carol Hannah falters, I think she'll certainly beat Althea.
Episode 12 "The Art of Fashion" (airdate 11/5/09)
--Are we already at the last challenge? Why do I feel vaguely disappointed. It's not that anyone left is all that bad. Well, except for Christopher maybe. But I feel like I'm still waiting to be wowed by this season. And I'm not sure that anyone left is going to pull that off. It's a little disappointing, as every season has had at least one "wow" moment. To be fair, it may not be the designers' fault. A lot of the most impressive moments in past seasons have come from challenges that really pushed the designers (along with judges that did the same). This season seemed to have a lot of not-particularly-challenging challenges. Nothing that can compare to Austin's corn husk dress from season one or Leeanne's car parts dress from season five.
--The art inspiration challenge has become a traditional last challenge on Project Runway, and in principle, I like it. When it comes down to the last eliminations, you generally want to see people go down on their best efforts. But it never ceases to amaze me to see what some designers choose as their fashion inspiration. Apparently, when surrounded by interesting architecture and great works of art, Christopher is really moved by . . . rock algae. Yeah. That's what the world of fashion is really calling for. More algae-based clothing.
--Apparently, Irina isn't here to make friends. Thank God she told us. Otherwise, I'd think she was just a nasty bitch for no reason. And I like how people like her always feel that it's a virtue that they're directly awful to people rather than behind their back. That's not honesty. It's just being a bully. Of course, from a reality TV perspective, it's fantastic. And she is often fairly dead-on in her assessments of the other designers. Though not quite as accurate in her self-appraisals.
--This close to the end, we really get to see what people are like under stress. Gordana is emotional. Carol Hannah remains generally sweet. Irina and Althea are sniping witches. And Christopher is just happy to be there and slightly aimless. Much like a good-natured labradoodle.
--Cindy Crawford as a guest judge. Well, I don't think the show necessarily needed another model telling us what she would "definitely wear." But, I will concede that she had some interesting and insightful points, and seemed to know her stuff. It kills me to have to admit these things. If I ever find out that Alyssa Milano has a doctorate in astrophysics, I'll have to jump out a window or something.
--I've said this before, and I'll probably have to keep saying it for as long as there are dim reality show contestants. But who cares how much anyone "wants" or "dreams" about winning something based on merit? I don't go shopping and think, "Well, Donna Karan really wanted this, so I think I'll buy her dress." And so I hereby declare Carol Hannah one of my all time favorite contestants for saying that these kinds of things don't matter and that the reason she deserves to go was because she makes good clothes that people want to wear. And hell, she does. I'm glad that she's going to be in the finals. Right now she's my favorite for the win.
--Is it me, or did nearly all the designers choose two people they thought they could beat when asked who else should go to fashion week?
--Did Irina get in on consistency? I hope not, because that would be some BS. If you're just going to do cumulative eliminations, it undermines the whole point of a challenge-by-challenge competition. All the drama comes from the fact that anyone can be eliminated at any time.
--No surprise to see Christopher going home. Why don't the judges note that every damn last one of his dresses share certain similarities. Like a ridiculously heavy and over-the-top skirt? With a close-cut bodice top? And often, some kind of waste panel. Heck, today's entry looked a hell of a lot like his vampire bride dress from the movie challenge. It's one thing to have a signature look. It's another thing to make the same dress over and over again. I'm glad that he's not going to fashion week. I don't think I could stand seeing 12 voluminous skirts and corset-ish tops going down the runway.
--Sorry to see Gordana go--she's definitely more likeable than Althea, and I think she did a great job of evoking the colors and feel of the Monet painting. I suppose that I "get" why they went with Althea. Traditionally, the judges have favored adventurousness and a point of view over perceived "dullness." Plus, Heidi seems to have it in for Gordana. But I can't say that I've ever loved anything that Althea has done, while Gordana did that great reworked wedding dress.
Episode 11 "Best of the Best" (airdate 10/29/09)
--Were the challenges always this boring or is it just this crop of designers? Or am I getting Project Runway fatigue? It just seems like they don't really push the designers this season, and in return, we don't get anything very impressive on the runway. This challenge boiled down to, "Hey, here's something nice you made once before--make something kind of similar." Yeah, because what this season needs is more repetition.
--One interesting facet of PR is the way that, as the number of designers declines, it tends to crystallize the bitchiness in the group. Even from the first season, with the whole Wendy debacle, it was the last few episodes that really brought out the back-stabbing worst in everyone. Now, Irina's prom queen bitchitude is catching with the other designers. Althea seems to have caught it now, and I can only hope that Carol Hannah remains immune. Or there won't be anyone left for me to like. (That's because I assume that Heidi will find a way to axe Gordana before the finals. It's crazy, the amount of antipathy Heidi bears for the poor woman. She hates her like a German hates . . . um . . . people that aren't German.)
--Good Lord, the bitching and moaning about "copying" was thick in this episode. I hadn't even noticed that Althea had previously done a zipper-based collar. Probably because it was on a weird whickety-whack fuzzy fur thing and made no sense. The thing is . . . is you're going to whine about being copied, it's best to make sure that what is supposedly being stolen from you is 1.) truly original and 2.) a good idea in the first place. I have no idea whether the zipper collar is original because it fails criteria number 2 so completely. Seriously, who wants to have a heavy metal collar full of things that catch your hair? There's a fine line between edgy and stupid, and . . . oh wait. No there's not.
--Speaking of stupid, Irina had to get in on the whining act with her complaints that Althea stole her "big sweater" idea. Yeah, because no one has ever made a big sweater before. Irina may be highly competent, but she isn't exactly avant garde. And while she certainly deserves a spot in the finals based on her work to date, is it too much to ask for her to have one near-elimination, just for humility purposes? Pretty please?
--I wasn't a gigantic fan of Althea's original outfit, the sloppy suit with the paper bag skirt. So I'm likewise underwhelmed by the pants version. Maybe it represented better on the runway, but (speaking for the women of America) I really wish fashion designers would stop trying variations of pants that are baggy in the but and tight on the calf. This is not a look that's going to be widely embraced by those of us lacking the stick-insect body type.
--Poor Logan. You could almost feel him losing the second it was pointed out that he'd never won a challenge. I can't argue with his elimination, no matter how pretty and straight he was. Although I think it would have been just as fair to send Christopher home instead. What the hell was that thing he sent down the runway? A cocktail dress with crumpled tin foil over a bedspread? And yet again in his only silhouette--fitted on top, with a big, ol' mess on the bottom. I sense that the clock is ticking on Christopher.
Episode 10 "Around the World in Two Days" (airdate 10/22/09)
--Well, if no one else will do it, I call BS on this challenge. They tried to dress it up with Michael Kors and an emphasis on "inspiration," but what are they asking the designers to make? Another pretty outfit based on a general location. And it's not like we're talking strange, off-beat subjects here. Palm Beach? St. Tropez? Aspen? New York? Essentially, the challenge is, "dress a rich woman for one of these different climates."
--And while we're on it, how hard is it to be inspired by luxury destinations? Where's the challenge in imagining how you would dress someone to go out to dinner in Monaco or skiing in Aspen? That's not inspiration, it's aspiration. At this point, the contestant's should be making garments out of used bandages or something. At the very least, they should have made the designers pick between Calcutta, Gdansk, Kabul, or Des Moines. Now that would be a challenge I'd enjoy.
--Nicolas comes up with these incredibly contrived stories to account for what is really very ordinary design. It kills me when the judges fall for it. The imaginary story of the model who is going to wear this dreadful thing doesn't magically transform it into a good look.
--It's annoying that Irina is such an incredible bitch, and yet able to design pretty well. Her Aspen look was cliche (fur vest? ski-inspired pants?), but still kinda neat. Incidentally, do people in Aspen still wear fur? Or do they have to wear a sign explaining that it's a fake so as to avoid being accosted by an "environmentalist" with a private jet on her way to vacation house (solar heated you know). Anyway, I can't say much against her winning, but it still seems like a bit of a letdown. There's nothing wrong with what she's designing, per se. It's just so . . . uninspiring.
--Even when Gordana finishes in the top 3, she still gets a lecture from the judges. What's up with that? (This one was about having confidence in herself. Who the hell cares so long as the clothes look good? I don't look at something in my closet and say to myself, "Well, I was going to wear it, but I sense that the person who designed it is having self-esteem issues. I think I'll go with the turtleneck instead."
--How on earth did Christopher escape elimination after that bizarre prairie girl thing he turned out. Granted, Nicolas did create something super boring that in no way evoked Greece. But Christopher seemed to feel that using brown and sky blue was enough to evoke Santa Fe. Oh well, they were both crappy. At least Christopher is less likely to say something truly annoying.
Episode 9 "Sequins, Feathers, and Fur, Oh My!" (airdate 10/15/09)
--I can't really say anything about the Bob Mackie part of this challenge. Oh wait, yes I can. It's true that he's a famous and well-respected designer. But when I hear Bob Mackie, all I think of is Cher in a feathers and just enough sequins to prevent her from getting arrested for indecent exposure. I suppose I should be grateful that we get another off-beat challenge, but I can't get that enthused about an over-the-top stage costume challenge.
--Christina Aguilera? Since when did Christina Aguilera become an "icon"? How low have our standards of icon-hood dropped when you can achieve that status by doing a few moderately successful pop songs and skanking around in a couple of videos?
--Even more absurd is the notion that Christina has some claim to being fashion-forward. Only if "horribly tacky and slutty" is a legitimate school of style.
--Every episode gives us little hints of exactly how bitchy Irina can be. (Answer: Very. She starts every morning with a steaming hot cup of bitch and a bowl of bitch-flakes.) I do have to respect that she's an old-school bitch though. None of that new-fangled Facebook and Text-y bitchiness. She does it High School Cafeteria style by saying nasty and belittling things about other girls from just a few feet away. You have to appreciate the classics.
--It's a little hard for me to get enthused about the fashions this week, as this is really not my thing. Which I suppose makes me happy for the similarly unenthusiastic Carol Hannah, who managed to win with an interesting black dress that never made me want to vomit. I admit that I thought that they would give the win to Nicholas, who created something so Christina that I wouldn't be surprised if she had four just like it in her closet already. Which may be why he didn't win.
--I can't really quarrel with Shirin's auf'ing, even if I did love all her little hats. That was a mess of a dress. Generally, having a long skirt split into strips is not going to end well. And doing it with little contrasting pieces of cheap shimmery white cloth didn't add anything positive to the effect. As much as I want everyone who Irina snipes at to outlast her, poor Shirin really created something bizarre for this one. I guess it might be the perfect outfit for an act about a goth Cinderella, washing floors and sweeping out fireplaces. But I'm guessing that Xtina doesn't really have a song that's on-point for that.
Episode 8 "A Fashionable New Beginning" (airdate 10/8/09)
--Thank God. A real challenge. Admittedly it wasn't the most exciting of all possible "real woman" challenges. (I personally love the plus-sized challenges, because it really brings out the immature jackass in certain competitors. There's nothing like seeing a fashion designer in a full-on hissy fit thanks to the frustration of having to design for someone who isn't a size 2.) Still, it got away from the "make a pretty cocktail dress" theme that seems characteristic of the season, and even bordered on the interesting at times.
--I guess we were supposed to be inspired by the divorcees--what with that whole "strong woman/fresh start" vibe they were trying to create--but when you met them, admit that you spent half the time thinking, "Oh yeah, I can totally see why you're not married anymore."
--And the worst offender of the Not-Surprised-She's-An-Ex-Wife club was poor Shirin's client. You know, she of the, "I want to look like '70s Cher," style directive. It continues to mystify me that anyone (other than Cher, who--let's be honest here--has horrific taste) actually thinks that peacock feathers and lace is a good look to strive for. You know, every time they do one of these "real woman" client episodes, someone gets stuck with the nightmare client. And usually, trying to please Madam Pickypants lands the designer in the bottom. Kudos to Shirin for escaping the trap.
--Why haven't all of the other designers learned this yet? When you're stuck with a difficult client on Project Runway, the best thing to do is to totally disregard what they want and make something that looks good. If you're in the top three, your client will be too embarrassed to admit that she doesn't like it. If you're in the middle, the judges won't even ask her. And if you're in the bottom . . . well, you're probably there because you didn't take my advice and tried to appease her tacky ass.
--You know, I think Irina has been doing some nice stuff, but she sure likes to start her mornings with a nice hot cup of raging bitch, doesn't she?
--It was good to see Gordana win--especially after all of the hyper-critical and arbitrary comments that the judges have thrown at her in the last few episodes. Hers was the first dress all season that I could see myself wanting to pay actual money for.
--What's with the Oktoberfest obsession, Heidi? Honestly, neither of the bottom two looks brought to mind German girls holding beer steins for me. Nor do I think of that as a particularly bad image. Super chic? No. But I can definitely think of worse things, fashion-wise. Like . . . oh, I don't know . . . Cher in a "Half-Breed" headdress made from peacock feathers.
--How much did it suck that the final two came down to Logan and Epperson--both of whom are likeable and (comparatively) drama-free. I can't really argue that they didn't belong there. Along with Christopher's aluminum foil poof, they were definitely the weakest this week. But . . . but . . . I like them. They're cool and/or cute. I'm definitely sad to see Epperson go. I still feel like we never got to see the best of him.
Episode 7 "The Sky is the Limit" (airdate 10/1/09)
--To begin with, a word about INC (the Macy's brand behind this challenge): Yawn. Seriously. I may have a few INC articles of clothing in my closet--they're the kind of thing that the Aunt you never see buys you for a Christmas gift. But there's nothing interesting or fun or trendy about this brand. They've done one of these brand challenges every season, but this makes me yearn for the relative edginess of the Banana Republic challenges. In essence, this yet another, "make a pretty dress" challenge, of which we've had way too many this season.
--We get it. Logan is hot. I'm not blind. It didn't escape my notice. But is it really necessary to have someone new drool all over him in every . . . single . . . episode? The man spends his days in a constant haze of female admiration. It's a miracle that he still seems so down-to-earth. Of course, that only makes him sexier, and . . . . oh, no. It's contagious.
--Hooray! Michael Kors is back. We missed you. And your comments. And your tan.
--I'm not sure what to say about the winning looks. I mean, as mentioned before, it's INC. The looks fit in with the INC brand, which is to say, they're nice enough, but completely unmemorable. Sure, Irina did produce a pretty dress. But it's still just a pretty department store dress. I don't watch this show to see clothes I can buy at the local mall. I watch it for crazy creativity and cutting edge fashion. And catfights. And nasty judges' comments. And total runway disasters.
--What was up with the wickety-whack ruffles all over Louise's designs? One appeared to have shower poofs glued to it (thank you again, Mr. Kors). And the other just had bizarre, glued-on-looking apron straps on it. Sure, I like Louise, and Ill miss her--she had an interesting aesthetic. But those ruffles were painful. They were like where Holly Hobby patterns go to die.
--So that whole "possible double elimination" thing was a tease? What's up with that, Project Runway? You set us up to think that both Louise and Christopher are "out", and then it turns out that Christopher is safe? Way to build the faux suspense. Not that I thought that Christopher should have gone home. His stuff wasn't attractive, but I didn't think it deserved quite so much judging scorn. (Though I do wonder what was up with that ascot ruffle thing that they put on the pumpkin dress.) Then again, maybe I'm just a sucker for designers who cry on the runway.
Episode 6 "Lights, Camera, Sew!" (airdate 9/24/09)
--Finally, a challenge that doesn't come down to making a pretty cocktail dress. That seems like the unofficial theme of this season so far--even the unconventional materials challenge just produced a parade of cute, short dresses. I don't blame the designers here--it seems more like the producers have been a little uninspired.
--I actually like the idea of a costume challenge, even if there's a wide gulf between costume design and runway success. Most of its appeal for me comes from watching DVD extras, where they stretch out the "Special Edition" version of the DVD with interviews of everyone from the caterers to the key grip. At some point, generally between the prop guys and the Second Unit Director, they give the costume designer 4 minutes to explain how she scoured the globe for the perfect fabrics to fit the design that tells the story of the character. God, I really wish we could get more costume designer interview and maybe one fewer stunt breakdown. It's really neat to see how they work so subtly to give you a visual image of the character through his costume.
--I don't get why everyone was avoiding Western so avidly. Chickens. It's not like you just stick your model in a pair of jeans and gingham shirt. They did have era-appropriate clothes. Though that seems like a concept that is missed by a few of the designers. (Really, a sleeveless dress for a Victorian character? The sleeveless trend has officially gone too far.)
--Can we set up some kind of petition or fundraiser or something that can bring back Nina Garcia and Michael Kors for the judging panel? I love Heidi, but I miss the balance and insight from Nina and Michael. I cannot get down with Zoe's endless vapid chatter. I know she's trying to offer thoughtful criticism, but I can't remember what she said 30 seconds after she says it.
--I think it's harsh to tell Ra'mon that his sci-fi look was very "B-Movie." I got the vibe that "B" was what he was going for. It is sci-fi after all. Goofy "B"-ness is what it's all about. Though that wasn't as strange as the mysterious Gordana hate we've seen in the last few episodes. Basically, the judges are hating on her for making nice-ish clothes. At a later point in the competition, this would make sense. But when there's so much more ick left out there, I don't see why it's necessary to pick on her for creating nice, solid work.
--I agree with the judges about Epperson's dress being cool, but I can't get on board with the love for Nicholas (a low rent version of the princess in The Neverending Story), and Christopher (messy, "Victorian" vampire bride, if Victorian brides wore backless halters). This may seem unfair, since he's turned in some nice work, but I'm over Christopher's endless parade of big poofy skirts married to sleeveless bodices. And Victorian vampire bride? Why not go for the trifecta and have her join the musical theater group at her local high school? So, yeah, I was disappointed that Nicholas got the win over Epperson. And even more disappointed that he has immunity next week. That means that we have at least two more weeks of prance-y drama and cattiness.
--And to complete my annoyance, I hate that they sent Ra'mon home over Louise. I like Louise and all, but her film noir dress was a twenties dress being worn as a costume by a '40s actress? What kind of schizophrenic crap is that?
Episode 5 "Fashion Headliners" (airdate 9/17/09)
--At last, an unconventional materials challenge. So far, the challenges have been a little ho-hum--nothing that really stretched the designers, and thus, nothing that showed us anything particularly amazing. Of course, I will complain that, as unconventional materials go, newspaper is really not that challenging. After all, it comes in large, easily manipulated sheets. The worst you can say about it is that its a little flimsy and rubs off on your hands. Oh please. We've seen people on this show make badass dresses out of car parts and corn husks. Newspaper is completely tame by comparison.
--The mysterious thing about Johnny's lie was why he would bother. He created a fugtastic mess for his first attempt, and Tim pointed out its flaws. (And kindly didn't explain that it looked like a giant used maxi pad being attacked by Japanese origami cranes.) So then Johnny starts over--a very reasonable move under the circumstances--and comes up with a big, stupid, convoluted lie about ruining his first attempt while steaming it with the iron. Why on earth would he think that it makes him look better to say that he ruined his first dress by trying to steam paper than to say that it sucked and he started over? I mean, if it was a great dress that was tragically destroyed, why not remake the same dress rather than starting over and turning in something half-assed?
--The judging panel is really missing Nina Garcia and Michael Kors. We keep getting these nicey-nice Hollywood types, who can't seem to think past whether something would look good on them or not. I could not care less what Eva Longoria (I would add the "Parker," to her name, but since I'm confident she'll be divorced within 5 years, I'm going to spare myself the effort) thinks about clothing. It's one thing when the star/celebrity judge is famous for being really fashion forward (like Sara Jessica Parker, who even had a discount line). But airheaded starlets letting us know that they like to emphasize their butt is not what I call interesting or enlightening judging. I want fashion, not Joan River's red carpet.
--Which leads me to the fact that the judges are clearly smoking crack. I don't think Irina's trenchcoat was horrible, but it certainly wasn't worthy of the fuss and accolades heaped on it, much less the win. It looked like a thick, untailored trench coat made out of newspaper. On what planet do bulky newsprint coats remind one of Chanel? And then they slammed Gordana for turning something that looked like it wasn't made of paper. Season after season of PR, not looking like you used strange materials has been the whole point of the unconventional challenge. And now, it's a liability? What in the hell?
--I'm not full of righteous indignation that Johnny lied, nor do I feel sorry for him that Nicholas called him out for it. All of the drama and preening on reality shows about the wrongness of "throwing" your competition "under the bus," is tiresome. Their your competition. Squashing the competition is the whole point of the exercise. Not that all that drama isn't incidental to Johnny's auf'ing anyway. He made a horrible, ugly dress and then did a bad job of defending it. Boo hoo. I'm just happy that we won't have to endure any more of his weepy self-pity.
Episode 4 "What a Woman Wants" (airdate 9/10/09)
--This isn't the first time that models have been clients on Project Runway. (Who can forget that disastrous wedding dress challenge in season one?) But I have to admit that I was hoping for a bigger curveball. So far, the designers haven't had anything too strange, and I admit that I delight in the pain caused by the "regular woman" challenges. Designing for a model--even a high maintenance one (as though there was another kind) isn't exactly a stretch for these guys.
--I can't even define how much I hate the ads that show on the Lifetime PR. I want to see catfights and awful real estate people. And instead, I get Georgia O'Keefe and sassy fat women. Sigh. Incidentally, what is Jeremy Irons doing in a Lifetime biopic about Georgia O'Keefe. He's a great actor, but he makes the damnedest decisions about acting roles sometimes. I know that even Jeremy Irons needs to buy groceries and pay the electric bill. But Lifetime movies and Dungeons and Dragons wizards make one wonder if he lets his dog pick which scripts he accepts.
--I thought Epperson's dress was really very cool. He was obviously the one who got the potential nightmare model/client. (Romantic animal punk? What the hell is that supposed to mean? I think she just picked random adjectives out of a hat to try to mess with her designer.) And yet, he did come up with something that pretty much fit the bill. Granted, his model desperately needed a push-up bra. Or maybe just some breasts. But (Heidi and the Victoria's Secret models notwithstanding) the surfboard look doesn't much hurt you in the high fashion world.
--Wow, the judges were feeling pretty punchy today, weren't they? And that's not meant as a complaint either. Project Runway is already rare among talent contest reality shows in that it doesn't even bother to have a "nice" judge. (Again, not a complaint. The Paula Abdul style of judging is boring and pointless. And not very fashion-y.) I loved Heidi's point that model years are like dog years. As the old supermodel judging all the young upstarts, you could see she really enjoyed delivering that judgment. ("Old" is also not a bad thing here--I have no idea how old Heidi is, but she still looks better than all of the aspiring models on the show.)
--I don't have much to say about Althea's win. I'm guessing that it represented better on the runway than on my TV, where it seemed a little shapeless and undefined. That said, I can see how it's cool and chic, and the fact that the stylist and fashion editor were drooling over it says something. I just hope it doesn't say that we're going to be seeing a lot of suits with puffy shorts in the near future.
--And with that, I no longer have to worry about how to spell Cqryisztayl (just covering my bases there). I was worried about Logan. Because he's cute and you knew he was headed for disaster with the smurf prom dress. (And why on earth would one want to add black lace to that monstrosity?) Fortunately for him, Qrystil turned out something that I swear I saw in the window at Forever 21 the other day.
Episode 3 "Rumble on the Runway" (airdate 9/3/09)
--And finally, we get a team challenge. These episodes are always so much fun because they really bring out the whiny and irritating in people. I've seen every season of Project Runway, and I have yet to see a "paired-up" episode that didn't feature at least one alleged leader pissing and moaning about being disregarded by his/her teammate. And one team where everything goes to hell because of the laziness or incompetence of one of the contestants.
--This time it was Qrystal who boarded the Poor Leader Express. I honestly didn't blame Epperson for disregarding her--she seemed to treat every question he had as a challenge to her leadership and feminism in general. He'd be asking where to put a pin, and she'd go on some tirade about how he doesn't listen to her and that this is somehow indicative of his respect for women and blah, blah, blah. And poor Epperson is standing there like, "Woman, I'm not trying to take away your right to vote. I just want to know where to put this damn pin."
--Incidentally, I blame the problems between Qrystyl? Qrystel? Qrystal? and Epperson on the spelling of her name. You know you've got problems when the name "Epperson" is a relief to type by comparison. How can you feel any confidence in yourself as a designer when your name looks like it was spelled by a drunk twelve year-old girl? What was the thinking there? Was "Crystal" not quite trashy enough on it's own? Was she afraid that people might think of stemware before coke-addict strippers when they saw it? I hereby refuse to even try to spell her name "correctly" and am going to call her "Crystal" until she gets eliminated or proves herself worthy of the effort.
--I'm still so annoyed about Crystal-with-a-Q that I can' t even bring myself to mock Ra'mon's superfluous apostrophe. I probably wouldn't in any case, as I liked him. If anyone ever deserved the win, it's Ra'mon. Stuck with a totally worthless partner, rescuing the designs from disaster, working up to the last second . . . and he manages to turn out the best look in the whole show--that cool neoprene dress.
--This has nothing to do with anything, but since Max Azria was one of the judges, I'd just like to note that I used to work at BCBG. And the clothes were crap. Not very well made to begin with (relative to their price at least), and almost always a lesser imitation of someone else's trend. And the shoes were uncomfortable and prone to fall apart. And don't even get me started on the corprate culture. There was this thing with every new collection, where we had to guess, "where the BCBG girl is." (The BCBG girl is an imaginary muse for their products.) It was basically a matter of picking a random island or beach area in the Caribbean or Mediterranean and pretending that this represented a whole new look and feel for the clothes. Who comes up with this stuff? But I did think Azria's comments during judging were good.
--I have to say, I really enjoyed Mitchell's auf'ing. The whole "First to Worst" thing was a nice twist, and he pretty much deserved the axe, as it seems that he really didn't sew anything. Not to mention that you could tell that the judges were totally over him. Three weeks on the show and he gives them a transparent caftan that's little more than a piece of fabric with a neckhole, a pair of maternity shorts big enough to fit an entire pregnant woman in each leghole, and a bikini that we don't see. You do have to, you know, actually create clothing in order to stay in the competition.
Episode 2 "We Expect Fashion" (airdate 8/27/09)
--I find it a little odd that they suddenly discovered a lack of high fashion maternity wear for this episode. That may have been true 10 years ago, but unless you're living in a cave on Mars, it's kind of hard to ignore the fawning fashion press given to pregnant Angelina Jolie. And Nicole Richie. And Jennifer Garner. And Halle Berry. And Julia Roberts. And . . . oh, I don't know . . . how about Heidi Klum? Hell, she was pregnant for an entire season and wore killer outfits the whole time. But now PR is going to solve that pesky maternity fashion problem. How avant garde of them.
--And yet, even though maternity fashions are old hat, that didn't stop the designers from bitching about the horrible challenge of designing for a model with a pillow on her stomach. Oh, the horror. Why, it's almost as bad as having to make something plus-sized. (Yeah, like pregnant women have bodies exactly like fashion models with pillows under their shirts.)
--I wonder who writes the little inspirational messages on the chalkboard in the designers' apartment every day? I'm hoping that there's some poor intern who has to come up with a new series of snappy, yet sappy, sayings every week. It's a bit much to expect us to believe that every single season has featured at least one contestant who loved writing out sweet little notices to his fellow contestants every day. Just the thought of it makes me feel a little nauseous.
--It's so sad to see the self-appointed "conceptual" designers take the path to crazyland, completely deaf to all the warnings of impending disaster. A Mother Hen???? What the hell? What kind of person thinks that pregnant women would like to put on an outfit evocative of a mother hen and her egg. Oooooh, sexy. At least he decided against creating "chicken thigh" jodhpurs. Not that I forgive him for being one of those jodhpur revivalists. I wouldn't be surprised to see him send a set of harem pants down the runway.
--Overall, I think things took a turn for the better this week. There were hints of promise among the boringness, which bodes well for the rest of the season.
--Not that Shirin didn't deserve the win--it was a nice outfit and well-executed. But . . . yawn. The other two dresses up for the win (Althea's floor length and the retro girl's lingerie look) were much more interesting.
--I got a little rush of schadenfreude over Mitchell's near-elimination. It's always so satisfying to see the guy who thinks he knows everything end up on the brink of an auf'ing. And alas, Melvin is, "too conceptual for America." I may not always agree with the judges, but I think it goes without saying that America will never, never be conceptually ready to dress like chickens. Again, I'm a little sad that we won't get to see anymore of Melvin's deep conceptual brainstorms--I was looking forward to the episode where he decided to dress his plus-sized real woman like a dairy cow--but I can't claim that he didn't deserve to get booted.
Episode 1 "Welcome to Los Angeles!" (airdate 8/20/09)
--I have to say, my first issue is with that exclamation point at the end of the episode title. It seems a little insecure and undignified, and makes me want to tell the TV to stop shouting at me. Elaine Benes can take issue with me, but I just don't think that this news warrants and exclamation point.
--It is somehow fitting, however, that Project Runway simultaneously moved to Lifetime and Los Angeles. It makes it hard to decide what to blame for any changes or the different feel that it sometimes has. Of course, if I recall correctly, this season was filmed before they had settled the dispute over who owned it, so I can't start dogging on Lifetime for screwing up an awesome show. Yet, anyway. I do already have a problem with having to watch the annoying Lifetime sappy show and movie commercials during the breaks. How am I suppose to keep up with which Real Housewives are currently in a catfight without the mid-show previews?
--I can't say that I'm all that wowed by any of the designers so far, but it's early still and there's too damned many of them to keep track of. At this stage, the horrors are almost more memorable than the hits.
--I was disappointed with the first challenge. Generally, there have to 2 different kinds of PR first challenges--the unconventional materials challenge (e.g. grocery store dresses, using the stuff in the apartment, and so on) and the blank slate, "be innovative" challenge. Basically, the instruction for this one was, "make a really cool dress." So with such wide latitude, why were so many of the results so blah? It makes you wonder whether the designers need the challenge of working with a bunch of restrictions in order to get really creative.
--The winning dress, from Bland White Gay Guy Number 3, was nice enough, I suppose. I ordinarily love combining punk and romantic. But to me it was no better than a "B." Maybe it doesn't show well on TV, but the main impression for me was silk and crumpled black candy wrappers.
--I will admit that I didn't completely hate the space cadet girl's silver soccer ball hoodie. Of course, it didn't really meet the challenge and it was deeply weird (as was her explanation for it). But all the same, there was something appealing about it for me. Or maybe I was just so bored by everything else that I was grateful for a little focused weirdness. So I guess I'm a little sorry Ari got "auf'd". I can understand why they went with her over Sheer Nightgown guy--who wants to spend the entire season listening to explanations like, "It's a dress for a futuristic robot scientist who likes to play Bach on the clavichord"? But I kind of wish that we could have seen at least one or two more episodes of flakiness before her departure.
--That dress that was half purple and half floral fabric? Frightening. It looked like something you'd get if you asked a colorblind mental patient to design a clown dress. Yeah, I didn't like it much.
--No, I'm not going to watch the "Models of the Runway" show. I don't support giving models the impression that anyone gives a damn what they think about anything. (Though to be fair, I feel the same way about Hollywood starlets and pop singers.)
Episode 14 "Finale Part 2" (airdate 11/19/09)
--Huh. Well. There was a fashion show. And someone won the season. So there's that, anyway. I guess you could say that the finale fit the season. Underwhelming to the point where you actually have to remind yourself that it wasn't all that bad. Because it certainly wasn't. There were clothes, some creative, some attractive. But just as the season lacked a "wow," so did the final collections.
--Carol Hannah's collection was very dress-oriented and was the only glimpse of color amidst a sea of dull and unadventurous neutrals. While I can't claim that Carol Hannah was robbed (again, no one really wowed me), I was pulling for her a bit--both on the "not a royal bitch" front and because she had moments that seemed as though she might one day produce something interesting. And also because I'm not a fan of Irina's obsessive New Yorkishness style or Althea's . . . er . . . I'm not sure what kind of style Althea represents. I'm not even sure that she produces anything unified or cohesive enough to be a style.
--What was up with the judge's constant harping on Althea's "trendiness" regarding "the streets." That girl is so white bread that she craps vanilla ice cream. If, by stressing her alleged "street awareness," they meant, "Althea watches a lot of MTV," I might be able to agree. I will give her the credit of saying that she did seem slightly younger and fresher than her rivals--but I think this was less to do with collection (which seemed to me to be composed of slight echoes of other designers trends-of-the-moment), and more to do with the fact that Irina turned out something very heavy and East Coast-ish, and Carol Hannah presented a more formal collection. Honestly, I didn't see a lot of "fashion" in Althea's collection. It just looked like a random selection of clothes pulled out of the closet of someone who likes to shop at Forever 21. (Almost nothing fit the, "it looks expensive," praise that seems to be the judges' highest possible accolade.)
--The one fashion element that Althea did try to carry through her collection (with very little success) were highly structured (and sometimes enormous) shoulders to her garment. She seemed to think that this evoked '60s sci-fi movies. But for me, it mostly evoked Dynasty re-runs.
--Irina must have the world's worst poker face. It may be too much to ask her to fake some sincerity now and then, but could she at least attempt to repress the eye rolls and fakey smiles? Anyway, her collection was . . . black. It made it hard to see the individuality of each piece, and made the whole display a little heavy and monotonous for me. I can't even remember any particular piece she did--they all have an unfortunate tendency to blend together in my recollection. She did have some nice detail work on a lot of her pieces, but it was just so . . . New York. Regardless of what New Yorkers think, this is not necessarily a look or lifestyle that we all pine for. The idea of clothing reflecting the armor that one needs to navigate your city just makes me want to put on an old sweatshirt and drink cocoa in front of the TV.
--Despite my obvious dislike for her, I guess I can't complain about Irina getting the win. At least out of this group. She did have the most cohesive collection, even if it wasn't really to my taste. I can, however, complain about the group--and indeed, the season as a whole. Like the final, it just seemed lackluster and ho-hum. Maybe it was the switch to LA. Maybe it was the switch to Lifetime. It definitely was (in part) due to the cracked-out judging and the unimaginative challenges. I'm not going to get all drama and swear off the show completely. (I am, after all, someone who watched America's Next Top Model long after it went from merely silly to ludicrous and obviously staged.) But if they're going to keep the show from doing a triple gainer over the circling sharks, it's total "Make It Work" time.
Episode 13 "Finale Part 1" (airdate 11/12/09)
--It's hard to know what to say about this epipsode--it should really be subtitled "The Tease Episode." We get to see little glimpses of the final collections, but not enough to give us any real feel for them. We don't even get to see someone in a single finished look. So you spend time trying to add Tim's advice with how things look on hangers and draped on tables to get some idea of what the runway show will be like.
--Of course, it is fun to make wild assumptions about the designers and their lives based on the stagey meal that they traditionally share with Tim when he visits them at home. In the past, I remember being surprised by Santino without his mask, amused at the sight of Tim getting loose at Korto's family party, and intrigued by the fact that Kenley may have been the only finalist designer to skip the meeting-family-and-friends part. In keeping with the season, unfortunately, the family meets were largely bland. Though Irina's did seem a tad forced on the "poor immigrant makes good" storyline. Her parents didn't exactly look like they were supporting her design dreams by taking in laundry and collecting cans. (Though it was funny to have Irina's speech about winning over her disapproving Dad come right before we see her Dad genially toast her and wish her success.)
--Memo to Irina: If you can't make your smile of concern reach your eyes, then it's better not to say anything sympathetic about Carol Hannah's illness. Otherwise, you get the classic mean sorority girl effect: "Oh no, I'm so sorry you're sick. I would hate to have anything happen to you so that you can't finish this competition and I just have to win it myself."
--So the collections: From the little we saw, I think Carol Hannah has the mystery placement--will the judges think it's whimsical and elegant or boring and overworked? Considering how many gowns Chloe showed in her PR win, I don't think the number of dresses will be a problem, no matter how heavily the judges have been inhaling from the crack pipe this season.
--Again, it's too early to know for sure, but it looks like Althea will the 3rd place finisher. Too many wrinkled brows of concern from Tim Gunn, and the pieces we have seen seem disconnected from one another.
--I may be the wrong person to comment on Irina's mostly-black palette. While I confess that I wear a lot (lot, lot, lot) of black--as is required by law for women living in the New York or DC areas, I'm not in love with it as a runway theme. It's visually dull and can even seem safe or unimaginative. From what we can see of her collection, it has that finished Irina look. I'm not sure that it's exciting, but if Carol Hannah falters, I think she'll certainly beat Althea.
Episode 12 "The Art of Fashion" (airdate 11/5/09)
--Are we already at the last challenge? Why do I feel vaguely disappointed. It's not that anyone left is all that bad. Well, except for Christopher maybe. But I feel like I'm still waiting to be wowed by this season. And I'm not sure that anyone left is going to pull that off. It's a little disappointing, as every season has had at least one "wow" moment. To be fair, it may not be the designers' fault. A lot of the most impressive moments in past seasons have come from challenges that really pushed the designers (along with judges that did the same). This season seemed to have a lot of not-particularly-challenging challenges. Nothing that can compare to Austin's corn husk dress from season one or Leeanne's car parts dress from season five.
--The art inspiration challenge has become a traditional last challenge on Project Runway, and in principle, I like it. When it comes down to the last eliminations, you generally want to see people go down on their best efforts. But it never ceases to amaze me to see what some designers choose as their fashion inspiration. Apparently, when surrounded by interesting architecture and great works of art, Christopher is really moved by . . . rock algae. Yeah. That's what the world of fashion is really calling for. More algae-based clothing.
--Apparently, Irina isn't here to make friends. Thank God she told us. Otherwise, I'd think she was just a nasty bitch for no reason. And I like how people like her always feel that it's a virtue that they're directly awful to people rather than behind their back. That's not honesty. It's just being a bully. Of course, from a reality TV perspective, it's fantastic. And she is often fairly dead-on in her assessments of the other designers. Though not quite as accurate in her self-appraisals.
--This close to the end, we really get to see what people are like under stress. Gordana is emotional. Carol Hannah remains generally sweet. Irina and Althea are sniping witches. And Christopher is just happy to be there and slightly aimless. Much like a good-natured labradoodle.
--Cindy Crawford as a guest judge. Well, I don't think the show necessarily needed another model telling us what she would "definitely wear." But, I will concede that she had some interesting and insightful points, and seemed to know her stuff. It kills me to have to admit these things. If I ever find out that Alyssa Milano has a doctorate in astrophysics, I'll have to jump out a window or something.
--I've said this before, and I'll probably have to keep saying it for as long as there are dim reality show contestants. But who cares how much anyone "wants" or "dreams" about winning something based on merit? I don't go shopping and think, "Well, Donna Karan really wanted this, so I think I'll buy her dress." And so I hereby declare Carol Hannah one of my all time favorite contestants for saying that these kinds of things don't matter and that the reason she deserves to go was because she makes good clothes that people want to wear. And hell, she does. I'm glad that she's going to be in the finals. Right now she's my favorite for the win.
--Is it me, or did nearly all the designers choose two people they thought they could beat when asked who else should go to fashion week?
--Did Irina get in on consistency? I hope not, because that would be some BS. If you're just going to do cumulative eliminations, it undermines the whole point of a challenge-by-challenge competition. All the drama comes from the fact that anyone can be eliminated at any time.
--No surprise to see Christopher going home. Why don't the judges note that every damn last one of his dresses share certain similarities. Like a ridiculously heavy and over-the-top skirt? With a close-cut bodice top? And often, some kind of waste panel. Heck, today's entry looked a hell of a lot like his vampire bride dress from the movie challenge. It's one thing to have a signature look. It's another thing to make the same dress over and over again. I'm glad that he's not going to fashion week. I don't think I could stand seeing 12 voluminous skirts and corset-ish tops going down the runway.
--Sorry to see Gordana go--she's definitely more likeable than Althea, and I think she did a great job of evoking the colors and feel of the Monet painting. I suppose that I "get" why they went with Althea. Traditionally, the judges have favored adventurousness and a point of view over perceived "dullness." Plus, Heidi seems to have it in for Gordana. But I can't say that I've ever loved anything that Althea has done, while Gordana did that great reworked wedding dress.
Episode 11 "Best of the Best" (airdate 10/29/09)
--Were the challenges always this boring or is it just this crop of designers? Or am I getting Project Runway fatigue? It just seems like they don't really push the designers this season, and in return, we don't get anything very impressive on the runway. This challenge boiled down to, "Hey, here's something nice you made once before--make something kind of similar." Yeah, because what this season needs is more repetition.
--One interesting facet of PR is the way that, as the number of designers declines, it tends to crystallize the bitchiness in the group. Even from the first season, with the whole Wendy debacle, it was the last few episodes that really brought out the back-stabbing worst in everyone. Now, Irina's prom queen bitchitude is catching with the other designers. Althea seems to have caught it now, and I can only hope that Carol Hannah remains immune. Or there won't be anyone left for me to like. (That's because I assume that Heidi will find a way to axe Gordana before the finals. It's crazy, the amount of antipathy Heidi bears for the poor woman. She hates her like a German hates . . . um . . . people that aren't German.)
--Good Lord, the bitching and moaning about "copying" was thick in this episode. I hadn't even noticed that Althea had previously done a zipper-based collar. Probably because it was on a weird whickety-whack fuzzy fur thing and made no sense. The thing is . . . is you're going to whine about being copied, it's best to make sure that what is supposedly being stolen from you is 1.) truly original and 2.) a good idea in the first place. I have no idea whether the zipper collar is original because it fails criteria number 2 so completely. Seriously, who wants to have a heavy metal collar full of things that catch your hair? There's a fine line between edgy and stupid, and . . . oh wait. No there's not.
--Speaking of stupid, Irina had to get in on the whining act with her complaints that Althea stole her "big sweater" idea. Yeah, because no one has ever made a big sweater before. Irina may be highly competent, but she isn't exactly avant garde. And while she certainly deserves a spot in the finals based on her work to date, is it too much to ask for her to have one near-elimination, just for humility purposes? Pretty please?
--I wasn't a gigantic fan of Althea's original outfit, the sloppy suit with the paper bag skirt. So I'm likewise underwhelmed by the pants version. Maybe it represented better on the runway, but (speaking for the women of America) I really wish fashion designers would stop trying variations of pants that are baggy in the but and tight on the calf. This is not a look that's going to be widely embraced by those of us lacking the stick-insect body type.
--Poor Logan. You could almost feel him losing the second it was pointed out that he'd never won a challenge. I can't argue with his elimination, no matter how pretty and straight he was. Although I think it would have been just as fair to send Christopher home instead. What the hell was that thing he sent down the runway? A cocktail dress with crumpled tin foil over a bedspread? And yet again in his only silhouette--fitted on top, with a big, ol' mess on the bottom. I sense that the clock is ticking on Christopher.
Episode 10 "Around the World in Two Days" (airdate 10/22/09)
--Well, if no one else will do it, I call BS on this challenge. They tried to dress it up with Michael Kors and an emphasis on "inspiration," but what are they asking the designers to make? Another pretty outfit based on a general location. And it's not like we're talking strange, off-beat subjects here. Palm Beach? St. Tropez? Aspen? New York? Essentially, the challenge is, "dress a rich woman for one of these different climates."
--And while we're on it, how hard is it to be inspired by luxury destinations? Where's the challenge in imagining how you would dress someone to go out to dinner in Monaco or skiing in Aspen? That's not inspiration, it's aspiration. At this point, the contestant's should be making garments out of used bandages or something. At the very least, they should have made the designers pick between Calcutta, Gdansk, Kabul, or Des Moines. Now that would be a challenge I'd enjoy.
--Nicolas comes up with these incredibly contrived stories to account for what is really very ordinary design. It kills me when the judges fall for it. The imaginary story of the model who is going to wear this dreadful thing doesn't magically transform it into a good look.
--It's annoying that Irina is such an incredible bitch, and yet able to design pretty well. Her Aspen look was cliche (fur vest? ski-inspired pants?), but still kinda neat. Incidentally, do people in Aspen still wear fur? Or do they have to wear a sign explaining that it's a fake so as to avoid being accosted by an "environmentalist" with a private jet on her way to vacation house (solar heated you know). Anyway, I can't say much against her winning, but it still seems like a bit of a letdown. There's nothing wrong with what she's designing, per se. It's just so . . . uninspiring.
--Even when Gordana finishes in the top 3, she still gets a lecture from the judges. What's up with that? (This one was about having confidence in herself. Who the hell cares so long as the clothes look good? I don't look at something in my closet and say to myself, "Well, I was going to wear it, but I sense that the person who designed it is having self-esteem issues. I think I'll go with the turtleneck instead."
--How on earth did Christopher escape elimination after that bizarre prairie girl thing he turned out. Granted, Nicolas did create something super boring that in no way evoked Greece. But Christopher seemed to feel that using brown and sky blue was enough to evoke Santa Fe. Oh well, they were both crappy. At least Christopher is less likely to say something truly annoying.
Episode 9 "Sequins, Feathers, and Fur, Oh My!" (airdate 10/15/09)
--I can't really say anything about the Bob Mackie part of this challenge. Oh wait, yes I can. It's true that he's a famous and well-respected designer. But when I hear Bob Mackie, all I think of is Cher in a feathers and just enough sequins to prevent her from getting arrested for indecent exposure. I suppose I should be grateful that we get another off-beat challenge, but I can't get that enthused about an over-the-top stage costume challenge.
--Christina Aguilera? Since when did Christina Aguilera become an "icon"? How low have our standards of icon-hood dropped when you can achieve that status by doing a few moderately successful pop songs and skanking around in a couple of videos?
--Even more absurd is the notion that Christina has some claim to being fashion-forward. Only if "horribly tacky and slutty" is a legitimate school of style.
--Every episode gives us little hints of exactly how bitchy Irina can be. (Answer: Very. She starts every morning with a steaming hot cup of bitch and a bowl of bitch-flakes.) I do have to respect that she's an old-school bitch though. None of that new-fangled Facebook and Text-y bitchiness. She does it High School Cafeteria style by saying nasty and belittling things about other girls from just a few feet away. You have to appreciate the classics.
--It's a little hard for me to get enthused about the fashions this week, as this is really not my thing. Which I suppose makes me happy for the similarly unenthusiastic Carol Hannah, who managed to win with an interesting black dress that never made me want to vomit. I admit that I thought that they would give the win to Nicholas, who created something so Christina that I wouldn't be surprised if she had four just like it in her closet already. Which may be why he didn't win.
--I can't really quarrel with Shirin's auf'ing, even if I did love all her little hats. That was a mess of a dress. Generally, having a long skirt split into strips is not going to end well. And doing it with little contrasting pieces of cheap shimmery white cloth didn't add anything positive to the effect. As much as I want everyone who Irina snipes at to outlast her, poor Shirin really created something bizarre for this one. I guess it might be the perfect outfit for an act about a goth Cinderella, washing floors and sweeping out fireplaces. But I'm guessing that Xtina doesn't really have a song that's on-point for that.
Episode 8 "A Fashionable New Beginning" (airdate 10/8/09)
--Thank God. A real challenge. Admittedly it wasn't the most exciting of all possible "real woman" challenges. (I personally love the plus-sized challenges, because it really brings out the immature jackass in certain competitors. There's nothing like seeing a fashion designer in a full-on hissy fit thanks to the frustration of having to design for someone who isn't a size 2.) Still, it got away from the "make a pretty cocktail dress" theme that seems characteristic of the season, and even bordered on the interesting at times.
--I guess we were supposed to be inspired by the divorcees--what with that whole "strong woman/fresh start" vibe they were trying to create--but when you met them, admit that you spent half the time thinking, "Oh yeah, I can totally see why you're not married anymore."
--And the worst offender of the Not-Surprised-She's-An-Ex-Wife club was poor Shirin's client. You know, she of the, "I want to look like '70s Cher," style directive. It continues to mystify me that anyone (other than Cher, who--let's be honest here--has horrific taste) actually thinks that peacock feathers and lace is a good look to strive for. You know, every time they do one of these "real woman" client episodes, someone gets stuck with the nightmare client. And usually, trying to please Madam Pickypants lands the designer in the bottom. Kudos to Shirin for escaping the trap.
--Why haven't all of the other designers learned this yet? When you're stuck with a difficult client on Project Runway, the best thing to do is to totally disregard what they want and make something that looks good. If you're in the top three, your client will be too embarrassed to admit that she doesn't like it. If you're in the middle, the judges won't even ask her. And if you're in the bottom . . . well, you're probably there because you didn't take my advice and tried to appease her tacky ass.
--You know, I think Irina has been doing some nice stuff, but she sure likes to start her mornings with a nice hot cup of raging bitch, doesn't she?
--It was good to see Gordana win--especially after all of the hyper-critical and arbitrary comments that the judges have thrown at her in the last few episodes. Hers was the first dress all season that I could see myself wanting to pay actual money for.
--What's with the Oktoberfest obsession, Heidi? Honestly, neither of the bottom two looks brought to mind German girls holding beer steins for me. Nor do I think of that as a particularly bad image. Super chic? No. But I can definitely think of worse things, fashion-wise. Like . . . oh, I don't know . . . Cher in a "Half-Breed" headdress made from peacock feathers.
--How much did it suck that the final two came down to Logan and Epperson--both of whom are likeable and (comparatively) drama-free. I can't really argue that they didn't belong there. Along with Christopher's aluminum foil poof, they were definitely the weakest this week. But . . . but . . . I like them. They're cool and/or cute. I'm definitely sad to see Epperson go. I still feel like we never got to see the best of him.
Episode 7 "The Sky is the Limit" (airdate 10/1/09)
--To begin with, a word about INC (the Macy's brand behind this challenge): Yawn. Seriously. I may have a few INC articles of clothing in my closet--they're the kind of thing that the Aunt you never see buys you for a Christmas gift. But there's nothing interesting or fun or trendy about this brand. They've done one of these brand challenges every season, but this makes me yearn for the relative edginess of the Banana Republic challenges. In essence, this yet another, "make a pretty dress" challenge, of which we've had way too many this season.
--We get it. Logan is hot. I'm not blind. It didn't escape my notice. But is it really necessary to have someone new drool all over him in every . . . single . . . episode? The man spends his days in a constant haze of female admiration. It's a miracle that he still seems so down-to-earth. Of course, that only makes him sexier, and . . . . oh, no. It's contagious.
--Hooray! Michael Kors is back. We missed you. And your comments. And your tan.
--I'm not sure what to say about the winning looks. I mean, as mentioned before, it's INC. The looks fit in with the INC brand, which is to say, they're nice enough, but completely unmemorable. Sure, Irina did produce a pretty dress. But it's still just a pretty department store dress. I don't watch this show to see clothes I can buy at the local mall. I watch it for crazy creativity and cutting edge fashion. And catfights. And nasty judges' comments. And total runway disasters.
--What was up with the wickety-whack ruffles all over Louise's designs? One appeared to have shower poofs glued to it (thank you again, Mr. Kors). And the other just had bizarre, glued-on-looking apron straps on it. Sure, I like Louise, and Ill miss her--she had an interesting aesthetic. But those ruffles were painful. They were like where Holly Hobby patterns go to die.
--So that whole "possible double elimination" thing was a tease? What's up with that, Project Runway? You set us up to think that both Louise and Christopher are "out", and then it turns out that Christopher is safe? Way to build the faux suspense. Not that I thought that Christopher should have gone home. His stuff wasn't attractive, but I didn't think it deserved quite so much judging scorn. (Though I do wonder what was up with that ascot ruffle thing that they put on the pumpkin dress.) Then again, maybe I'm just a sucker for designers who cry on the runway.
Episode 6 "Lights, Camera, Sew!" (airdate 9/24/09)
--Finally, a challenge that doesn't come down to making a pretty cocktail dress. That seems like the unofficial theme of this season so far--even the unconventional materials challenge just produced a parade of cute, short dresses. I don't blame the designers here--it seems more like the producers have been a little uninspired.
--I actually like the idea of a costume challenge, even if there's a wide gulf between costume design and runway success. Most of its appeal for me comes from watching DVD extras, where they stretch out the "Special Edition" version of the DVD with interviews of everyone from the caterers to the key grip. At some point, generally between the prop guys and the Second Unit Director, they give the costume designer 4 minutes to explain how she scoured the globe for the perfect fabrics to fit the design that tells the story of the character. God, I really wish we could get more costume designer interview and maybe one fewer stunt breakdown. It's really neat to see how they work so subtly to give you a visual image of the character through his costume.
--I don't get why everyone was avoiding Western so avidly. Chickens. It's not like you just stick your model in a pair of jeans and gingham shirt. They did have era-appropriate clothes. Though that seems like a concept that is missed by a few of the designers. (Really, a sleeveless dress for a Victorian character? The sleeveless trend has officially gone too far.)
--Can we set up some kind of petition or fundraiser or something that can bring back Nina Garcia and Michael Kors for the judging panel? I love Heidi, but I miss the balance and insight from Nina and Michael. I cannot get down with Zoe's endless vapid chatter. I know she's trying to offer thoughtful criticism, but I can't remember what she said 30 seconds after she says it.
--I think it's harsh to tell Ra'mon that his sci-fi look was very "B-Movie." I got the vibe that "B" was what he was going for. It is sci-fi after all. Goofy "B"-ness is what it's all about. Though that wasn't as strange as the mysterious Gordana hate we've seen in the last few episodes. Basically, the judges are hating on her for making nice-ish clothes. At a later point in the competition, this would make sense. But when there's so much more ick left out there, I don't see why it's necessary to pick on her for creating nice, solid work.
--I agree with the judges about Epperson's dress being cool, but I can't get on board with the love for Nicholas (a low rent version of the princess in The Neverending Story), and Christopher (messy, "Victorian" vampire bride, if Victorian brides wore backless halters). This may seem unfair, since he's turned in some nice work, but I'm over Christopher's endless parade of big poofy skirts married to sleeveless bodices. And Victorian vampire bride? Why not go for the trifecta and have her join the musical theater group at her local high school? So, yeah, I was disappointed that Nicholas got the win over Epperson. And even more disappointed that he has immunity next week. That means that we have at least two more weeks of prance-y drama and cattiness.
--And to complete my annoyance, I hate that they sent Ra'mon home over Louise. I like Louise and all, but her film noir dress was a twenties dress being worn as a costume by a '40s actress? What kind of schizophrenic crap is that?
Episode 5 "Fashion Headliners" (airdate 9/17/09)
--At last, an unconventional materials challenge. So far, the challenges have been a little ho-hum--nothing that really stretched the designers, and thus, nothing that showed us anything particularly amazing. Of course, I will complain that, as unconventional materials go, newspaper is really not that challenging. After all, it comes in large, easily manipulated sheets. The worst you can say about it is that its a little flimsy and rubs off on your hands. Oh please. We've seen people on this show make badass dresses out of car parts and corn husks. Newspaper is completely tame by comparison.
--The mysterious thing about Johnny's lie was why he would bother. He created a fugtastic mess for his first attempt, and Tim pointed out its flaws. (And kindly didn't explain that it looked like a giant used maxi pad being attacked by Japanese origami cranes.) So then Johnny starts over--a very reasonable move under the circumstances--and comes up with a big, stupid, convoluted lie about ruining his first attempt while steaming it with the iron. Why on earth would he think that it makes him look better to say that he ruined his first dress by trying to steam paper than to say that it sucked and he started over? I mean, if it was a great dress that was tragically destroyed, why not remake the same dress rather than starting over and turning in something half-assed?
--The judging panel is really missing Nina Garcia and Michael Kors. We keep getting these nicey-nice Hollywood types, who can't seem to think past whether something would look good on them or not. I could not care less what Eva Longoria (I would add the "Parker," to her name, but since I'm confident she'll be divorced within 5 years, I'm going to spare myself the effort) thinks about clothing. It's one thing when the star/celebrity judge is famous for being really fashion forward (like Sara Jessica Parker, who even had a discount line). But airheaded starlets letting us know that they like to emphasize their butt is not what I call interesting or enlightening judging. I want fashion, not Joan River's red carpet.
--Which leads me to the fact that the judges are clearly smoking crack. I don't think Irina's trenchcoat was horrible, but it certainly wasn't worthy of the fuss and accolades heaped on it, much less the win. It looked like a thick, untailored trench coat made out of newspaper. On what planet do bulky newsprint coats remind one of Chanel? And then they slammed Gordana for turning something that looked like it wasn't made of paper. Season after season of PR, not looking like you used strange materials has been the whole point of the unconventional challenge. And now, it's a liability? What in the hell?
--I'm not full of righteous indignation that Johnny lied, nor do I feel sorry for him that Nicholas called him out for it. All of the drama and preening on reality shows about the wrongness of "throwing" your competition "under the bus," is tiresome. Their your competition. Squashing the competition is the whole point of the exercise. Not that all that drama isn't incidental to Johnny's auf'ing anyway. He made a horrible, ugly dress and then did a bad job of defending it. Boo hoo. I'm just happy that we won't have to endure any more of his weepy self-pity.
Episode 4 "What a Woman Wants" (airdate 9/10/09)
--This isn't the first time that models have been clients on Project Runway. (Who can forget that disastrous wedding dress challenge in season one?) But I have to admit that I was hoping for a bigger curveball. So far, the designers haven't had anything too strange, and I admit that I delight in the pain caused by the "regular woman" challenges. Designing for a model--even a high maintenance one (as though there was another kind) isn't exactly a stretch for these guys.
--I can't even define how much I hate the ads that show on the Lifetime PR. I want to see catfights and awful real estate people. And instead, I get Georgia O'Keefe and sassy fat women. Sigh. Incidentally, what is Jeremy Irons doing in a Lifetime biopic about Georgia O'Keefe. He's a great actor, but he makes the damnedest decisions about acting roles sometimes. I know that even Jeremy Irons needs to buy groceries and pay the electric bill. But Lifetime movies and Dungeons and Dragons wizards make one wonder if he lets his dog pick which scripts he accepts.
--I thought Epperson's dress was really very cool. He was obviously the one who got the potential nightmare model/client. (Romantic animal punk? What the hell is that supposed to mean? I think she just picked random adjectives out of a hat to try to mess with her designer.) And yet, he did come up with something that pretty much fit the bill. Granted, his model desperately needed a push-up bra. Or maybe just some breasts. But (Heidi and the Victoria's Secret models notwithstanding) the surfboard look doesn't much hurt you in the high fashion world.
--Wow, the judges were feeling pretty punchy today, weren't they? And that's not meant as a complaint either. Project Runway is already rare among talent contest reality shows in that it doesn't even bother to have a "nice" judge. (Again, not a complaint. The Paula Abdul style of judging is boring and pointless. And not very fashion-y.) I loved Heidi's point that model years are like dog years. As the old supermodel judging all the young upstarts, you could see she really enjoyed delivering that judgment. ("Old" is also not a bad thing here--I have no idea how old Heidi is, but she still looks better than all of the aspiring models on the show.)
--I don't have much to say about Althea's win. I'm guessing that it represented better on the runway than on my TV, where it seemed a little shapeless and undefined. That said, I can see how it's cool and chic, and the fact that the stylist and fashion editor were drooling over it says something. I just hope it doesn't say that we're going to be seeing a lot of suits with puffy shorts in the near future.
--And with that, I no longer have to worry about how to spell Cqryisztayl (just covering my bases there). I was worried about Logan. Because he's cute and you knew he was headed for disaster with the smurf prom dress. (And why on earth would one want to add black lace to that monstrosity?) Fortunately for him, Qrystil turned out something that I swear I saw in the window at Forever 21 the other day.
Episode 3 "Rumble on the Runway" (airdate 9/3/09)
--And finally, we get a team challenge. These episodes are always so much fun because they really bring out the whiny and irritating in people. I've seen every season of Project Runway, and I have yet to see a "paired-up" episode that didn't feature at least one alleged leader pissing and moaning about being disregarded by his/her teammate. And one team where everything goes to hell because of the laziness or incompetence of one of the contestants.
--This time it was Qrystal who boarded the Poor Leader Express. I honestly didn't blame Epperson for disregarding her--she seemed to treat every question he had as a challenge to her leadership and feminism in general. He'd be asking where to put a pin, and she'd go on some tirade about how he doesn't listen to her and that this is somehow indicative of his respect for women and blah, blah, blah. And poor Epperson is standing there like, "Woman, I'm not trying to take away your right to vote. I just want to know where to put this damn pin."
--Incidentally, I blame the problems between Qrystyl? Qrystel? Qrystal? and Epperson on the spelling of her name. You know you've got problems when the name "Epperson" is a relief to type by comparison. How can you feel any confidence in yourself as a designer when your name looks like it was spelled by a drunk twelve year-old girl? What was the thinking there? Was "Crystal" not quite trashy enough on it's own? Was she afraid that people might think of stemware before coke-addict strippers when they saw it? I hereby refuse to even try to spell her name "correctly" and am going to call her "Crystal" until she gets eliminated or proves herself worthy of the effort.
--I'm still so annoyed about Crystal-with-a-Q that I can' t even bring myself to mock Ra'mon's superfluous apostrophe. I probably wouldn't in any case, as I liked him. If anyone ever deserved the win, it's Ra'mon. Stuck with a totally worthless partner, rescuing the designs from disaster, working up to the last second . . . and he manages to turn out the best look in the whole show--that cool neoprene dress.
--This has nothing to do with anything, but since Max Azria was one of the judges, I'd just like to note that I used to work at BCBG. And the clothes were crap. Not very well made to begin with (relative to their price at least), and almost always a lesser imitation of someone else's trend. And the shoes were uncomfortable and prone to fall apart. And don't even get me started on the corprate culture. There was this thing with every new collection, where we had to guess, "where the BCBG girl is." (The BCBG girl is an imaginary muse for their products.) It was basically a matter of picking a random island or beach area in the Caribbean or Mediterranean and pretending that this represented a whole new look and feel for the clothes. Who comes up with this stuff? But I did think Azria's comments during judging were good.
--I have to say, I really enjoyed Mitchell's auf'ing. The whole "First to Worst" thing was a nice twist, and he pretty much deserved the axe, as it seems that he really didn't sew anything. Not to mention that you could tell that the judges were totally over him. Three weeks on the show and he gives them a transparent caftan that's little more than a piece of fabric with a neckhole, a pair of maternity shorts big enough to fit an entire pregnant woman in each leghole, and a bikini that we don't see. You do have to, you know, actually create clothing in order to stay in the competition.
Episode 2 "We Expect Fashion" (airdate 8/27/09)
--I find it a little odd that they suddenly discovered a lack of high fashion maternity wear for this episode. That may have been true 10 years ago, but unless you're living in a cave on Mars, it's kind of hard to ignore the fawning fashion press given to pregnant Angelina Jolie. And Nicole Richie. And Jennifer Garner. And Halle Berry. And Julia Roberts. And . . . oh, I don't know . . . how about Heidi Klum? Hell, she was pregnant for an entire season and wore killer outfits the whole time. But now PR is going to solve that pesky maternity fashion problem. How avant garde of them.
--And yet, even though maternity fashions are old hat, that didn't stop the designers from bitching about the horrible challenge of designing for a model with a pillow on her stomach. Oh, the horror. Why, it's almost as bad as having to make something plus-sized. (Yeah, like pregnant women have bodies exactly like fashion models with pillows under their shirts.)
--I wonder who writes the little inspirational messages on the chalkboard in the designers' apartment every day? I'm hoping that there's some poor intern who has to come up with a new series of snappy, yet sappy, sayings every week. It's a bit much to expect us to believe that every single season has featured at least one contestant who loved writing out sweet little notices to his fellow contestants every day. Just the thought of it makes me feel a little nauseous.
--It's so sad to see the self-appointed "conceptual" designers take the path to crazyland, completely deaf to all the warnings of impending disaster. A Mother Hen???? What the hell? What kind of person thinks that pregnant women would like to put on an outfit evocative of a mother hen and her egg. Oooooh, sexy. At least he decided against creating "chicken thigh" jodhpurs. Not that I forgive him for being one of those jodhpur revivalists. I wouldn't be surprised to see him send a set of harem pants down the runway.
--Overall, I think things took a turn for the better this week. There were hints of promise among the boringness, which bodes well for the rest of the season.
--Not that Shirin didn't deserve the win--it was a nice outfit and well-executed. But . . . yawn. The other two dresses up for the win (Althea's floor length and the retro girl's lingerie look) were much more interesting.
--I got a little rush of schadenfreude over Mitchell's near-elimination. It's always so satisfying to see the guy who thinks he knows everything end up on the brink of an auf'ing. And alas, Melvin is, "too conceptual for America." I may not always agree with the judges, but I think it goes without saying that America will never, never be conceptually ready to dress like chickens. Again, I'm a little sad that we won't get to see anymore of Melvin's deep conceptual brainstorms--I was looking forward to the episode where he decided to dress his plus-sized real woman like a dairy cow--but I can't claim that he didn't deserve to get booted.
Episode 1 "Welcome to Los Angeles!" (airdate 8/20/09)
--I have to say, my first issue is with that exclamation point at the end of the episode title. It seems a little insecure and undignified, and makes me want to tell the TV to stop shouting at me. Elaine Benes can take issue with me, but I just don't think that this news warrants and exclamation point.
--It is somehow fitting, however, that Project Runway simultaneously moved to Lifetime and Los Angeles. It makes it hard to decide what to blame for any changes or the different feel that it sometimes has. Of course, if I recall correctly, this season was filmed before they had settled the dispute over who owned it, so I can't start dogging on Lifetime for screwing up an awesome show. Yet, anyway. I do already have a problem with having to watch the annoying Lifetime sappy show and movie commercials during the breaks. How am I suppose to keep up with which Real Housewives are currently in a catfight without the mid-show previews?
--I can't say that I'm all that wowed by any of the designers so far, but it's early still and there's too damned many of them to keep track of. At this stage, the horrors are almost more memorable than the hits.
--I was disappointed with the first challenge. Generally, there have to 2 different kinds of PR first challenges--the unconventional materials challenge (e.g. grocery store dresses, using the stuff in the apartment, and so on) and the blank slate, "be innovative" challenge. Basically, the instruction for this one was, "make a really cool dress." So with such wide latitude, why were so many of the results so blah? It makes you wonder whether the designers need the challenge of working with a bunch of restrictions in order to get really creative.
--The winning dress, from Bland White Gay Guy Number 3, was nice enough, I suppose. I ordinarily love combining punk and romantic. But to me it was no better than a "B." Maybe it doesn't show well on TV, but the main impression for me was silk and crumpled black candy wrappers.
--I will admit that I didn't completely hate the space cadet girl's silver soccer ball hoodie. Of course, it didn't really meet the challenge and it was deeply weird (as was her explanation for it). But all the same, there was something appealing about it for me. Or maybe I was just so bored by everything else that I was grateful for a little focused weirdness. So I guess I'm a little sorry Ari got "auf'd". I can understand why they went with her over Sheer Nightgown guy--who wants to spend the entire season listening to explanations like, "It's a dress for a futuristic robot scientist who likes to play Bach on the clavichord"? But I kind of wish that we could have seen at least one or two more episodes of flakiness before her departure.
--That dress that was half purple and half floral fabric? Frightening. It looked like something you'd get if you asked a colorblind mental patient to design a clown dress. Yeah, I didn't like it much.
--No, I'm not going to watch the "Models of the Runway" show. I don't support giving models the impression that anyone gives a damn what they think about anything. (Though to be fair, I feel the same way about Hollywood starlets and pop singers.)