Five Egregious Rock Band Omissions
By Prue
Don’t get me wrong—Rock Band and Rock Band 2 are great games. Nicely executed concept. Lots of fun. And I don’t even blame Harmonix for the fact that our neighbor has called the police on us 3 times over this game. Unfortunately, the extras and options don’t include a “Disable Bitchy Neighbor” setting.
But sometimes—and here I’m thinking primarily of when “Green Grass and High Tides” comes up in the setlist—I can’t help but think, “of all the rock songs that you could have included in this game, this was deemed worthy?” And then I start making lists of songs I’d rather be playing. If I’m playing “I’m So Sick” by Flyleaf, this more or less encompasses every other rock song ever written. So the list does get a bit lengthy. Thus, I’m just going to focus on some of the biggest omissions:
Honorable Mention: Back in Black, AC/DC.
I know, I know. This is now available on the special AC/DC pack for Rock Band, so it technically can’t be counted as an omission. That’s why it’s an honorable mention. Seriously, Harmonix. The game is called “Rock Band.” You finally put something from AC/DC on it, and you give us “Let There Be Rock.” Of all the AC/DC songs in existence, we get “Let There Be Rock.” Oh, but wait. You can get the AC/DC songs that you really want to play if you buy this $40 specialty track pack. Total bullshit.
Something by Queen
I’m not going to be picky here, though I would prefer that the developers not try to impress us with their obscure taste in Queen songs. I’m not sure what the Queen equivalent of “Let There Be Rock” might be, but don’t cheap-out about it. Anything off of Classic Queen is fine. (Though I personally would prefer “Under Pressure” so that I can do my impression of Vanilla Ice denying that he ripped it off for “Ice, Ice Baby.”)
Sweet Home Alabama, Lynard Skynard
Granted, this one of the tracks for Guitar Hero: World Tour, but since I don’t have World Tour yet, I say that it still belongs on this list. Frankly, most of the southern rock in the Rock Band games is a little disappointing. Sure, there’s “Simple Man,” but that is totally negated by the musical cheese grater that is “Flirtin’ With Disaster.” And I will not be moved from that position by the fact that the Molly Hatchet home page currently features some kind of dark knight in front of a burning castle. I demand more Skynard—the kind that’s even more fun to sing when you’re drunk. (Which may actually be all Skynard.) And how ‘bout some Creedence too while you’re at it?
Sweet Child O’Mine, Guns N' Roses
I don’t care if it’s already on one of the Guitar Hero games. That’s just so typical of guitarists—trying to steal the spotlight away from us drummers and vocalists. (Screw the bass player—he's replacable.) I want some GNR, dammit. And while it was nice to see some evidence that Chinese Democracy isn’t just a myth handed down by generations of people in Hot Topic t-shirts, that’s not the GNR that I’m looking for. I picked “Sweet Child O’Mine” because . . . well, because it’s awesome, obviously, but I’m willing to compromise. “Welcome to the Jungle” is fine. “November Rain” is alright if the virtual roadies can replenish my bottle of Jack Daniels during the guitar solo. Even “Paradise City” would be good. Not “Estranged” though. The video had dolphins in it, for God’s sake.
Don’t Stop Believing, Journey
Yes, I know that “Anyway You Want It” is on the Rock Band 2 soundtrack. But the way I want it is to be able to perform “Don’t Stop Believing” instead. Honestly, there are more “Nu Metal” downloads for this game than virgins at a Comic Con, and you can’t give me a few more soaring power ballads? I don’t want to be impressed with the developer’s esoteric taste. I just want to hold on to that fee—ee—eeeeling. And I think America agrees with me.
What, no Zeppelin?
I don’t care what the reason for this is. I’m sure it has something to do with rights and royalties and lawyers. Again, I don’t care. Let make this clear—even if the reason is that Osama Bin Laden himself negotiated with secret Delta Force operatives and agreed to turn himself in to the US government, donate all his money to animal shelters, take up knitting, and commit suicide if he could be assured that Rock Band would not include any Zeppelin tracks—I don’t want to hear any excuses. The game is called Rock Band. It should have some Led Zeppelin on it. Period.
*Note: The following artists were also up for inclusion in this list, but lost the coin toss. (After all, the article does have to end sometime.): Def Leppard (which would have the double bonus of allowing for a one-handed drumming challenge); U2 (I hear the Pope is especially disappointed about this); Van Halen (and don’t even think about sneaking in some non-David Lee Roth stuff); Poison (alas, every rose really does have its thorn).